Mondays with Mike: Turning 30

July 28, 2014 • Posted in Mike Knezovich, Mondays with Mike, Uncategorized by

Today, this enterprise Beth and I entered into on July 28, 1984, turns 30. That is to say, it’s our 30th wedding anniversary.

Dancing on our wedding day. Roland Kwasny and the Continentals played. On this number, Beth's sister Bev sat in on the drums, our friend Keith Pickerel was crooning, and the lovely woman in red next to him is Ree Stone.

Dancing on our wedding day. Roland Kwasny and the Continentals played. On this number, Beth’s sister Bev sat in on the drums, our friend Keith Pickerel was crooning, and the lovely woman in red next to him is Ree Stone.

I’m not sure what to say about that. That’s partly because lately, as I gain in years, I’m having a hard time calibrating time spans. Some stuff that happened 20 years ago seems like it happened yesterday, and stuff that happened last year seems like it was 20 years ago.

Plus, Beth has this mind-warping exercise she runs through from time to time. It goes like this: We’ll hear a song, a familiar song, something like, oh, Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke.” And she’ll say, “You know that was 38 years ago.”

As if that’ s not enough to take in, she goes on.

“So, when you were 12, in 1969, that’s what it was like if your dad heard a song from 1931. “

Like I said, mind warping.

But back to marriage and anniversaries. I’d like to come on all sage-like about what makes for a lasting marriage. But, you know, I got nothing. For one, I think it’s perfectly fine to not be married, and it’s not for everyone. (I can tell you that Beth and I each at various times have thought single life would be just fine.)
And I don’t think of reaching 30 as an accomplishment per se, but I am proud of us.

I can think of a couple things that probably have helped. When Beth and I began our relationship, we were both at the point where we’d concluded, well, if we don’t meet our soul mates, that’s just fine. We entered with no agendas or plan or particular expectations. So our relationship was allowed to take its own organic path.

The other thing: we had to have a very serious talk before we thought about getting hitched. In the course of seeing each other, I learned a lot about how her Type 1 diabetes affected her daily routines—as we saw more of each other, they were affecting our routines.

But I didn’t know everything about Type 1. And Beth, to her immense credit and integrity, believed I needed to know before we thought about something long term. So one evening, after a dinner I cooked for us, she laid it out. She probably shouldn’t have kids. She could go blind. Her kidneys could go. And on and on.

She gave me time to think about it. And I did. And we talked about it and the rest is history, as they say.

Having that kind of communication and honesty gave us a model. And as I think back, the times our relationship was in peril were times we had forgotten how to be that honest. And when we got back to that honesty, things healed, and we went on.

Not having a boilerplate, and being able to level with one another about the most difficult things have allowed us to change individually, grow apart, and grow back together without breaking apart.

We certainly are not the same people we were on a beautiful, sun-drenched Saturday in July in 1984. But we are still together.

Here’s to us.

Pick On July 28, 2014 at 10:19 am

I will never forget that splendid occasion. Congratulations you two!

Mike On July 28, 2014 at 11:59 am

Well, with the Reverend Pick presiding, it had to be unforgettable. Thanks for being a part of it.

Brad On July 28, 2014 at 10:49 am

Oh my, thirty years! Really liked the photograph. What an attractive couple you were (and are). With Pick crooning and Bev on drums. Congratulations to you and Beth, – Love you both.

Mike On July 28, 2014 at 12:00 pm

Thanks Brad. It was a splendid day.

Mel Theobald On July 28, 2014 at 11:00 am

Happy anniversary Mike and Beth.That bit about “honesty” says it all. I’ve had my own thoughts about time travel. As a kid they took me back to 1878, but that’ll take further explaining than I can provide here.

Monna Ray On July 28, 2014 at 11:06 am

What a beautiful, honest tribute to 30 years!


Mary Rigdon On July 28, 2014 at 11:46 am

how poignant and honest.


Hank On July 28, 2014 at 12:25 pm

Indeed. Here’s to you! And a hearty Mazel Tov! Love you both.

Mike On July 28, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Thank you Henry, we love you, too. I think we’re on pretty much the same calendar as you and Pickerel.

Carolyn Alessio On July 28, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Congrats to an inspiring couple! Perspiring too No doubt! Hey any chance we can finally Get u over to dinner n late August?

Sent from my iPhone

Mike On July 28, 2014 at 2:23 pm

Thanks Carolyn. I’ll check with Beth on our calendar. Hope you all are well.

Barbara Gaither On July 28, 2014 at 1:45 pm

Happy Anniversary! I always enjoy the way you write and express yourself and today was no exception! Give Beth my best as well!

Mike On July 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Thanks Barbara, much appreciated.

Annelore Chapin On July 28, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Congrats!! I really enjoyed your un-romantic tale of your lives together..being realistic and honest might just be one of the secrets of success. I wholeheartedly shout: It can work and be fun! My husband and I just completed 51 years last Saturday. All the best , Annelore

Mike On July 29, 2014 at 10:53 am

51! Holy Moley!

Nancy B On July 28, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Happy Anniversary to you two.
But can I just say, is Pick drinking the same kool aid as Susan Sarandon? He doesn’t appear to have aged since that picture!

Rick Marks On July 28, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Great article, we are right there behind you in a few months!

glivingston On July 28, 2014 at 8:10 pm

Congratulations! So happy for you both.

Sheila A. Donovan On July 28, 2014 at 8:14 pm

Happy Anniversary! Yes, Beth is very truthful and not the least bit shy. You got yourself a great wife!

Laura On July 28, 2014 at 10:48 pm

Here’s to you, indeed! Happy anniversary!

Doug On July 29, 2014 at 6:58 am


Judy Roth On July 29, 2014 at 7:52 pm

Here’s to you 30 times over. I’m sitting on my porch at family camp and having a drink in your honor.

Colleen On July 29, 2014 at 9:15 pm

Well said, Mike. I am glad to have known you and Beth over the years.

Mike On July 30, 2014 at 9:59 am

And to think, we did the official deed in your backyard with Jack and Dore and my folks and Flo and Frank! Thanks again for arranging all that.

Elaine Kramer On August 1, 2014 at 3:52 pm

mike and beth I really enjoyed the article how you talked things over and being honest. I usually can find something to write about fro homework and looking up how positive you both are. I can come up with something. Hope you both have many more happy anniversaries.
Elaine Kramer

My brush with Michael Cera | Safe & Sound blog On August 1, 2014 at 5:07 pm

[…] of the many, many things Mike and I did to celebrate our wedding anniversary last week was attend the play This Is Our Youth at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre. The play starred Michael […]

ojdohertyJenny On August 4, 2014 at 5:32 pm

Belated happy wedding anniversary to you both. Here’s to many more!

Deborah Darsie On August 7, 2014 at 2:21 am

Belated best wishes for many more adventures to come!

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