Mondays with Mike: You Gotta Have Friends

August 24, 2015 • Posted in blindness, Mike Knezovich, Mondays with Mike, Uncategorized by

Soon after we moved from Urbana to Chicago, Beth connected with a great local organization called Blind Service Association. Among other things, it provides sighted readers to people who need stuff read. Beth needed stuff read, and truth is, I needed to have her have stuff read—because I can’t keep up with it all.

Now, you might be thinking great literature, poetry, or the like. But no, what Beth and lots of people who are blind really need read are bills, instruction sheets, miscellaneous snail mail, the printed flotsam and jetsam that isn’t available online. Some also need help filling out forms, balancing checkbooks and addressing envelopes.

So the volunteer readers are a game lot. One of Beth’s first volunteers was a Bronx-born, Yankee-rooting, retired public school teacher who’d followed her physician husband to Chicago. Benita and Beth hit it off right away. And though their reading dates dwindled over time, they continued to see each other socially. I eventually met Benita and her husband Henry, and we always shared lots of laughs, great conversation, and usually some good food and drink. The two of them made the most of their time in Chicago, choosing not, at least in my company, to bemoan not being in New York. Memorably, we watched game 2 of the 2005 World Series with Benita and Henry on the big screen TV at their apartment, all hooting when Scott Podsednik launched an unlikely walk-off home run to give the Sox a 2 games to none lead in the series.

Our walk in NY included a visit to the enormous statue of Teddy Roosevelt in front of the American Museum of Natural History.

Our walk in NY included a visit to the enormous statue of Teddy Roosevelt in front of the American Museum of Natural History.

Last Thursday evening we found ourselves again in Henry and Benita’s living room. I sipped on a fine cocktail mixed by the good doctor. Only this time, their living room was in New York’s Upper West Side. Henry retired awhile back and the two of them returned to their roots.

Our generous hosts treated us to dinner at a neighborhood favorite and the next morning we convened for the best lox and bagel ever at a place called Barney Greengrass, a deli that Henry’s father used to go to. Our friends live across from the American Museum of Natural History (you know, the Night at the Museum one), and a block from Central Park. Benita and Henry led us on a glorious hike through the park, we passed the Delacorte Theater, stopped at the frog pond, crossed to the East Side . . . I think I could grow to love New York.

The best part, though, was simply Benita and Henry’s company. Witty, well traveled, well-read. It’s just good being together.

Benita rode with us on the Subway to Penn Station to see that we were on time for our Amtrak to Philadelphia. Two notable things about that: I didn’t think there could be a more poorly laid-out terminal than Chicago’s Union Station, but Penn Station is in the running. And, Amtrak was on time and we were in Philly before we knew it.

We checked in at the Philadelphia Racquet Club, the headquarters for the wedding we’d be attending. The vaunted institution clearly had seen better days, but it still exuded all that clubby “let’s play a game of squash “ atmosphere.

Then it was a couple blocks to the rehearsal dinner for the wedding of my god-daughter, Sasha. Well, technically, by rites of the Serbian Orthodox Church, she is my Kuma—but that’s another story.

I hadn’t seen her in years and years. I had, however, stayed in touch with her mother, whom I have known since I was a teenager. Rebecca and I were fast friends and partners in crime through high school, and during summers when we were home from college. What we had in common was restlessness, a raw hunger to get out there in the world and see what we could do.

We talked culture, politics—and I’d hang out at her house where her father would pick apart my political arguments. If I equivocated, Mitch was quick to say in a Humphrey Bogart voice, “The problem with you is you have your ass in two chairs. You gotta get your ass in one chair, pal.”

Meanwhile, Rebecca’s mom Mildred would bring me food and then more food.

At Sasha's and James' wedding, there was much music and just as much dancing.

At Sasha’s and James’ wedding, there was much music and just as much dancing.

Through those years, Rebecca and I  helped one another stay sane. Over the decades, our lives meandered in very different directions but somehow we never lost touch.

The rehearsal dinner was full of conversation and a bunch of happy people, as was the wedding—held in a Greek Orthodox Church (a Serbian one wasn’t handy). James the groom and his family are of Scottish descent, and his people wore some pretty spiffy formal kilts.

The reception? Great food and drink, and one-of-a-kind music: A brass band. Comprised of Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra players. Playing Balkan music. Phenomenal.

I’m told the reception went till 3:30. We didn’t make it to that hour.

We were up and wide awake, however, the next morning. As it happens, Sasha’s new husband is a Quaker. And so we were off for a Quaker meeting to mark the union of James and Sasha. It was my first Friends meeting, and it may not be the last. It goes like this: You sit. You shut up. You contemplate. Quietly. And if you are moved to share something, you stand and say it, sit back down, and continue contemplating.

It was perfect. I thought about those times at Rebecca’s house some 30 years ago. I thought about her parents, and how I had seen their faces in the faces of their children and grandchildren all weekend. I thought about how if someone had told me and Rebecca back when I was 18 that one day we’d be in a Friends Meeting celebrating her daughter’s wedding, we would’ve been dumbfounded. I thought about the magnificent old trees in Central Park, and the frogs.

And I thought about all of our wonderful friends.

Cheryl On August 24, 2015 at 7:01 pm

How wonderful! I’m so glad you and Beth could be in New York and Pennsylvania for a wonderful, memorable weekend.

Sue Doyle On August 24, 2015 at 7:27 pm

That was very enjoyable to read, Mike!! Thanks for sharing. Glad you had such an awesome time. You’ve got great friends…

Sue Doyle

bethfinke On August 25, 2015 at 11:14 am

Yeah we do, Sue, especially in the neighborhood!

Brigitte On August 24, 2015 at 8:35 pm

Ah, Quaker meeting houses… My husband Bill told me of his experience in Iowa City. He went with a faculty friend, and, as you said, people were sitting quietly, until somebody got up and talked about their vision of god in grand, abstract terms. Inasmuch as Bill’s idea of god was an old man with a beard, he decided to remain seated and silent. I hadn’t thought about this for a long time. Thanks. Brigitte

Mike On August 25, 2015 at 11:15 am

It was a powerful experience coming at the end of a full weekend.

Mary On August 24, 2015 at 9:58 pm

It sounds like you had a fabulous time. Beth had told me how much you were both looking forward to it.

Mary Rigdon

Sent from my iPhone

>

Benita Black On August 25, 2015 at 10:13 am

Thank you so much for telling the world about us and your weekend Back East! We were so flattered that you and Beth stopped off in New York just to visit us before you continued your journey to Philadelphia, It was a joy to be with you again. You must know how rare it is to love two halves of a couple equally. That’s certainly our experience with you guys.
To Mike’s readers: he never mentioned that, as a house gift to us, the Finke-Knezoviches brought us…yes, you guessed it (hah!)…a Scott Podsednik bobble-head doll from Back In The Day. Perfect choice!!
Can’t wait to see you again. This little taste was too tantalizing to let it go for such a long time.

Mike On August 25, 2015 at 11:16 am

It was a pretty perfect visit, thanks for giving us a glimpse of your world.

Hank On August 25, 2015 at 11:22 am

Very nice, Mike.
I’m glad the people I read for don’t subscribe to this blog though. I think they might feel they’re not getting their money’s worth. Although, you would be hard pressed to find someone who can bring a cable bill to life as I can.
Also, I wonder if your friend Henry might have know my cousin Sharon Silbiger, who was also a nephrologist and academic at the Albert Einstein Medical College.

Mike On August 25, 2015 at 12:21 pm

I’m sure they’re getting their money’s worth, Hank. And I’m sure the cable bills come alive;)

Benita Black On August 25, 2015 at 1:13 pm

Hi Hank,
Henry doesn’t know your cousin Sharon, sorry to say.
I, too, was rather proud of my declamatory ability for making jury duty notices “sing.”
Please give my best regards to all the fine folks (Debbie, Sally) at BSA.
Benita

Monna Ray On August 25, 2015 at 12:50 pm

I loved your and Beth’s adventure in Philadelphia/New York.

Monna

nancyfaustjenkins On August 25, 2015 at 1:48 pm

You and Beth are magnets for the most interesting friends. Such a pleasure to read your adventures..Makes me want to experience a “Quaker meeting house “.

Welcome home !

southloopreferral On August 25, 2015 at 8:46 pm

Enjoyed your travels! Reflection is a good thing, & I always wanted to know more about a Quaker Meeting. Thanks for sharing your experience. I like that you got to think about the frogs.

Janet On August 25, 2015 at 8:54 pm

Reading this reminds of staying with you guys and wondering, who the hell am I going to meet now?!! And then learning from you two, to just go with it. Always an adventure with you and your wild, kooky, smart and amazing friends

Janet On August 25, 2015 at 8:55 pm

I miss that!

Deborah Darsie On September 13, 2015 at 1:44 pm

Mike – I love your friends and the adventures you have with them.
I love the sound of the Philly wedding…and being followed by the Friends meeting. What a lovely way to share and reflect.

I wonder how exciting someone could make the endless “Privacy Notices” that come in the mail every year.

Mondays with Mike: Transition team | Safe & Sound blog On November 14, 2016 at 6:09 pm

[…] oversimplified terms, Kum is the Serbian Orthodox word for godson. Regular readers may remember my account of Joe’s sister Sasha’s wedding last year in Philadelphia—Sasha is my […]

Leave a Response