Is that a rude question, or a curious question?

February 17, 2018 • Posted in blindness, parenting a child with special needs, questions kids ask, Seeing Eye dogs, visiting schools, Writing for Children by

It never fails. Every time my Seeing Eye dog Whitney and I visit a school, one of the kids comes up with a question I’ve never been asked before. Here’s my favorite from a trip we took to suburban Glenview earlier this month. “If you were never blinded, which would you rather be: a cat person, or a dog person?”

I’ll let you guess my answer.

Photo of Beth and Whitney in front of fifth graders.

The fifth graders at Glen Grove school.

The fifth graders we were visiting at Glen Grove Elementary that day are working with the Nora Project that I wrote about here earlier this month. They’ve already been paired with a student who has special needs. Now the fifth graders seem excited – yet understandably nervous – to start interviewing their buddy’s family members and others who spend time with their buddy outside of school. Maybe the best way to see how their curiosity about my blindness intertwined with their concerns about the upcoming interviews is to look over some of the questions they asked:

  • You say in your Safe & Sound book that you take your dog’s harness off when you get home. How do you get around your house by yourself?
  • What would be the best questions to ask to get the best answers from the Nora Project parents?
  • You can’t see, so what sense do you rely on the most?
  • If you tell your dog to sit, and you can’t see the dog, how do you know it’s sitting?
  • What did it feel like when you found out you were blind?
  • You and your husband were both working when you found out you were blind, and then they fired you, so what was that like with money?
  • How do you know what you’re wearing?
  • How can we ask questions to get long answers?
  • Do you remember what your childhood was like?
  • What do you do if someone answers your question wrong?
  • When you’re asking somebody something, how can you tell if the question is a rude question or a curious question?
  • You look great in that shirt!

That last one was a statement, not a question, but I didn’t correct the student who said it. I just thanked him…and blushed.

These students will be using iPads to record video of the interviews they do. Soon they’ll combine footage from the interviews with video of their own interactions with their buddies. The documentaries they create from all this footage will be presented at an assembly towards the end of the school year.

I just love this project. Playing a very small part of it during that visit earlier this month was an honor. To learn more about the Nora Project, visit thenoraproject.ngo. Documentaries produced by students from previous years are available there under the Nora Friends tab.

Sheila A. Donovan On February 17, 2018 at 2:01 pm

I always love the curious questions from kids!

Beth On February 17, 2018 at 6:56 pm

Aha. But how do you feel about the rude ones?!

ED HEBSON On February 17, 2018 at 2:12 pm

Loved this, Beth!

Beth On February 17, 2018 at 6:49 pm

And you do have a connection to Glenview, don’t you, Ed? Remember: I’m willing to come to Michael’s school anytime…

Marilee On February 17, 2018 at 2:35 pm

Curious, interesting and engaging!! I love the whole idea of this project! You are the perfect mentor to help with preparing questions for an interview:)

Beth On February 17, 2018 at 6:48 pm

I have to agree. For this particular project, I am!

Maggy Fouche On February 18, 2018 at 8:26 pm

Love this piece Beth! Great questions too. And now I’m curious … How can you tell if Whitney sits when you tell her to?

Beth On February 18, 2018 at 10:12 pm

Aha! You’ll have to ask the fifth graders at Glen Grove Elementary School.

Lauren On February 19, 2018 at 3:58 pm

What great questions, and such a fun post 🙂 The Nora Project can’t wait to share video clips with your tips for effective, kind, information-seeking interviews! Our editors are getting to work!! Thank you so much for sharing your time and expertise and above all, your inspiring personal story <3

Beth On February 21, 2018 at 8:26 am

You’re not kidding about those questions of theirs –how thoughtful, sweet and fun. Much credit to the Nora Project for peeking –and encouraging – their curiosity. Keep up the great work you all do.

Annelore On February 23, 2018 at 3:33 pm

There is hope in this message. These kids are so lucky to be part of something that will create compassion and tolerance in their lives. That’ what the world needs now!

Beth On February 23, 2018 at 6:23 pm

Yes to all you’ve said here, Annelore. Especially the part about the kids being lucky to participate in a project like this one. Kudos to the teachers, parents, and the thoughtful folks who put the Nora Project together.

Deborah Darsie On February 23, 2018 at 11:38 pm

Wow, the last…or is it the 2nd to last question…is an excellent one.
Quite thoughtful!

Beth On February 24, 2018 at 7:20 am

Yes. I have run that question past many people since the fifth-grader asked it of me. Ninety-five-year-old Wanda from my “Me, Myself and I” memoir class said a rude question has an alterior motive. Our neighbor Brad said that he’s okay with someone asking him if he’s married — “They’re just curious” — but told of a relative stranger he met who followed that question by asking, “Why aren’t you married, then?” he found that second question rude.
But you are right, Deborah. A thoughtful –and thought-provoking — question by that fifth grader.
PS:I hope it goes without saying that the boy wasn’t rude to ask it. Just curious!

movieplatinum21 On February 24, 2018 at 5:45 pm

whatever are their question, in my opinion its always curious.
they’re just kids, they have a big imagination 🙂

Beth On February 25, 2018 at 6:59 pm

I agree, but so thoughtful that they are concerned about being rude.

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