A lot of the conversation during The Q&A after my talk with Skokie Public Library’s Talking Books Book Club last week centered around independence.
Jim and Kathy Zartman.
After we shared tips for keeping track of our prescriptions, identifying colors of clothing, using talking computers to read and write, one senior citizen with macular degeneration piped up and said she loves to cook, but when her daughter offered to buy her a bag of frozen, chopped onions at the grocery store, she agreed to finally quit insisting on dicing them herself. “I’m learning to stop being so goddamned independent and accept help,” she said. “But it hasn’t been easy.” Her words were refreshing, and she didn’t have to be able to see to know we were all nodding in support.
Our hour at the library went by quickly, and once I’d thanked the Talking Books Book Club for having us, the dapper Jim Zartman guided Whitney and me to his car to take us home. I’ve known Jim for nearly a year now – his wife Kathy is in the memoir-writing class I teach at Lincoln Park Village. He drives Whitney and me to that class every Thursday, and when he found out I’d be speaking at Skokie Public Library last Wednesday, he volunteered to take me there, too.
Jim has the wisdom of age and the spirit of youth. During our rides the past year I’ve had the privilege of hearing his stories about growing up in a small town in Illinois, the mother who gave him his first violin, and getting free room and board in exchange for working as a houseboy for John Kenneth Galbraith’s family at Harvard. “They said they named their son Jamie after me,” he blushes. “But I’m not sure that’s true.”
Jim is not exactly forthcoming, but when I ask questions, he answers. In our 20-minute rides to class he’s shared the agony and ecstasy of raising children with Katherine, his appreciation for his talented grandchildren, his work writing the Illinois Power of Attorney Act and then getting it through the state legislature during his career as partner in the Chicago firm of Chapman and Cutler, and his current role as president of the board of the Chicago School of Violin Making.
The Chicago School of Violin making is one of only a handful of such schools in the world, and it happens to be located very close to the Skokie Public Library. “Would you like to stop at the school along the way for a tour? I would. We did. It was amazing.
Jessie Gilbert, a graduate of the school who specializes in bow-making now, led my one-on-one tour. Her sweet, strong hands guided me along blocks of maple and spruce that were to become instruments, and I met teachers and students who had come from all over the world to participate in the schools three-year program. Students aspire to the quality craftsmanship of the 17th and 18th century classical masters and are ready to enter the violin making and repair field as professionals once they graduate.
We couldn’t stay long — it wasn’t fair to distract the students from their work. While we were there, though, I was taken by how quiet the workspace was –no music to work by, just the intense sound of careful carving and fine sanding.
And so, after my rides and field trips with Jim, and hearing Kathy read her memoirs in class, I’m getting to know the Zartmans. Time to meet the grandchildren, now too! Skyler, Sonia and Aaron had all read my children’s book Hanni and Beth: Safe & Sound so they were eager to follow Whitney as she led me around their grandparent’s block. “You’re like the pied piper!” one of them exclaimed.
We sat in Zartman’s lovely back yard after our walk. I showed the kids how Braille works, then took Whitney’s harness off so she could play fetch with them. We all sat down together for a supper of Kathy’s home-cooked beef brisket afterwards. It was sublime.
On my Thursday rides to memoir-writing class with Jim, I often remind him that he doesn’t have to come each and every week. Whitney and I are capable of taking a bus to Lincoln park. He pretends he doesn’t hear, and you know what? That’s okay with me. Just like my new friend in the Talking Books Book Club, I’m learning to stop being so goddamned independent.
Love it, Beth! Thanks for sharing this with us. Linda Lyon
You’re welcome, Linda. Thanks for commenting!
You have such delightful people in your life. Thanks for describing the violin school tour. Wow!
Another way to avoid chopping onions (peppers, celery, carrots, etc.) is to find a grocery store with a salad bar. Because of nerve damage in one hand, me, a knife and any vegetable are a dangerous combo. My exasperated hubby (who’s totally willing to chop) has accused me of being too damned independent sooo many times. Moi? Loved this blog, especially the clever title!
Oh, Kim, you are absolutely right. I *do* have delightful people in my life, and it is such a pleasure –and an honor- to write about them here.
I’ll add your salad bar idea to my list of tips, thank you for that, and also thanks for appreciating the title I came up with for this post. Must admit, I’m pretty pleased with it myself!
A school for making violins–who knew?! I always thought somebody’s hillbilly grandpa carved them, unless they came from Europe, in which case it was somebody’s Gypsy uncle…. Lovely post, as always. You know, my mother, whose father knew FDR personally (even had a chair from the NY Governor’s Mansion as a gift), was the youngest of three siblings. Her brother and sister (and all of their children) have Ivy League degrees. Mother was following their footsteps, attending Ursinus College in Philadelphia (same school and same time as JD Salinger, but they never met). For awhile, she was able to work as a “house-girl” for a professor (less lofty than Galbraith, but a professor named Dr. Barnard), until her father’s bankruptcy forced her to take a full-time job in a bank. I’m rambling far too much, but this post brought back a little piece of my mother, and I wanted to share her with you.
Oh, and by the way, until I retired, I used frozen chopped vegetables or else bought them pre-chopped in the produce section. Lazy? Maybe. But it helped keep our family meals wholesome and my mind whole.
Lauren, I’ll check the produce section for pre-chopped veggies. They’re probably much less expensive than buying from the salad bar. Thanks! Kim Holly
Oh, Lauren, I’ve often wondered who we should thank for keeping your brain whole. God love your mother and frozen vegetables.
That violin school sounds really interesting!
It is! I especially enjoyed the stories students told me about hwy they’d decided to attend…
I love this blog. I won’t say how many years it took me to realize that perfection and independence were ridiculous. The world is a delightful place when I finally learned to let other friends share it with me.
Hugs
Amen, Barbara!
Thank you, Beth, for appreciating the sterling ‘Zartmen’ for us…Their contribution to the Village has been inestimable. Under their great goodwill are the skills and determination to get anything worthwhile, actually DONE! Jim’s wisdom and temperament and Kathy’s skillful leadership of our first Board turned a vision into a reality that is simply awesome today! And one of it’s best features is our Memoir class with YOU, Beth, to lead it ‘just right’! Judy Spock
I’ve said it in class and will reiterate it here, Judy. You have a way with words. You are absolutely right: Jim’s wisdom and temperament and Kathy’s skillful leadership make for a
sensational combinatio
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