From Halsted to Diversity

October 15, 2012 • Posted in Beth Finke, blindness, memoir writing, Uncategorized, visiting schools, writing by

DePaul students from  a previous  visit.Every semester Janie Isackson shepherds the DePaul students enrolled in her Explore Chicago: From Halsted to Diversity class onto the Red line in Lincoln Park so they can all come visit me down here in Printers Row. Long Time, No See is required reading for the course, which involves trips to neighborhoods all over Chicago to witness diversity first-hand. Their visit here last Friday gave the students a glimpse of what it’s like to live in Chicago with a disability. They got a chance to ask about my memoir, too, and their questions were so thought-provoking I thought I’d share some with you blog readers:

  • The decision to give away things that reminded you of your old life must have been an excruciatingly tough one, but what prompted you to do so besides the difficult task of remembering small details?
  • What was it about Mike that didn’t make you second guess telling him about your diabetes? Was it something about what you saw in him, or was it just the fact that you were tired of avoiding the topic?
  • You wrote about how during your first time in “Braille Jail” you resisted starting relationships with the other students. Why do you think this is so?
  • Was it difficult parenting a child with disabilities who needed so much extra help with daily tasks, or do you think that it would have been the same if you had been able to see throughout his young life?
  • Do you have any regrets? And if you do what are they?
  • Your story is filled with supportive friends and family who offered you so much assistance, but were there any relationships you saw weaken after you became blind? Did any friends or family members become distanced or less than accommodating to your situation?
  • You wrote about difficulties in your marriage, did you stay together because you felt like you needed someone to help you or because you still loved each other? Do you think things would have ended up different if you didn’t have Gus?
  • You have written in so many different modalities and to so many different audiences. Which would be your favorite and why?
  • Do you ever wish that you had continued to stay in “Braille Jail” after you had technically graduated? Why or why not?
  • Did you ever feel a sense of guilt for Mike knowing that he had to work around your schedule/ completely change simple daily gestures due to your disability?
  • Why do you refer to your mother by her first name?

Whew! Not exactly the sorts of questions I’m asked when visiting kids in elementary schools, huh? It was flattering to have 20+ students take enough interest in my life — and my book — to come up with such thoughtful questions and then give such quiet attention to my answers: not one single cell phone went off during our time together, and I didn’t hear a single tap on a keyboard all hour, either. We did have a few laughs, too, and That Last question on the list above came as somewhat of a relief — it was easy to answer! With a fabulous name like Flo, how could I refer to her as anything else?!

Lauren Bishop-Weidner On October 15, 2012 at 10:44 am

I love the questions! Your memoir is pretty perfect, really, to use in a college class on pretty much anything, from creative writing to psychology! You’re pretty diverse, you know;-)

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I take that as a compliment. But hey, is there an opposite of being diverse?! If a person is not diverse, is that person same?

italianhandful On October 15, 2012 at 12:50 pm

You have to love it….material for another book and so provocative !!! Adagio

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I do love it — and I loved having you in the downtown memoir class, will you be joining us this session again, Adagio?

Hava On October 15, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I had some of those questions after reading Long Time No See as well. Will you be sharing the answers that you gave the students with we blog followers in future blogs?

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Hmmm. I’m not sure. Guess the only way to be *sure* to hear the answers is to sign up for Janie Isackson’s class at DePaul!

Hava On October 17, 2012 at 7:33 am

That would be one long comnute. I don’t want to know that badly.

bethfinke On October 17, 2012 at 7:43 am

Ha! Guess I’ll have to encourage Janie Isackson to start a distance-learning component….or maybe I should just get to work on that new book of mine, huh?!

Kim On October 15, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Great questions but where are the answers?

Judy Spock On October 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Looks like you’ll have to write another book, Beth, to answer all of our questions! That would be a rich experience for every one of us…re-playing, re-thinking our first, original, ‘take’ on events while deepening our understanding of ‘self’ and ‘other’. As we become more able in life, we also become less able, always gaining perspective on our shared human condition. The disappointment. The joy.The gratitude.

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Oh, Judy Spock, you do have such a lovely way with words. Down right inspiring, thank you so much.

Carl On October 16, 2012 at 8:28 am

Some of these questions sound rude to me. Didn’t you think so?

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I may have thought so if they’d been asked by kids who hadn’t read my memoir. The questions these students asked made me realize they’d thought through what they read and had some questions as a result — I didn’t find them rude at all, was flattered they cared enough to ask and was happy to answer them.

Maria On October 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

good for you taking them on. I think it must have been difficult. Thank goodness you managed to have a few laughs.

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm

We actually did share a lot of laughs during our hour together, but when I took time to sign books for some of the students afterwards ,one of them thanked me for answering her questions, then started crying.
Hugs helped.

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm

To Adagio, Kim, Laura, Hava, and Judy —
Janie Isackson, the teacher of this DePaul class, was kind enough to email a list of the questions her students asked. Reading through that list made me realize “Long Time, No See” leaves a lot of questions unanswered.
I’ve been hesitant to write a second memoir –does *anyone’s* life warrant TWO memoirs? – but will admit here that I’ve been working on a book about what I am learning from the memoir classes I teach and the life stories I hear in class. Your comments here encourage me to weave some stories of “life after Long Time, No See” into that book, too. The questions these college students asked will help me narrow in on what sort of issues to write about, which stories and impressions to include.
And so, the questions those students asked weren’t rude – they are very, very helpful!

Kim On October 16, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Describing who you are as the memoir class’s teacher will allow you to write a sort-of-sequal. Your life is interesting and filled with some amazing characters. A second memoir is definitely warranted. Yay, I can’t wait!

Nancy Bollero On October 16, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Wow. great questions as everyone has noted; thoughtful and sincere. I’m sure that will be memorable to the students Beth. Just like the vet tech who told me your presentation in her class was one of the best classes of her career at U of I. And that one student cried, how incredibly sweet.

bethfinke On October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

You know, Nancy, I think I never responded to that email you sent me after your vet tech recognized Hanni from a talk I’d given to her animal sciences class at U of I. What a hoot! Proves to me that Hanni hasn’t lost her charm – thanks to you and Steven for taking such good care of her in her retirement.

The Empty Pen On October 17, 2012 at 8:06 am

Those are some thoughtful and intimate questions. The one that ended why or why not made me laugh…sounds like a question on a test!

bethfinke On October 17, 2012 at 8:49 am

Oh, no! If that’s the case, I’m afraid I got an F.

bethfinke On October 17, 2012 at 8:50 am

Forgot. Grade inflation. Maybe a C.

Audrey Mitchell On October 17, 2012 at 7:08 pm

These questions are really intense. I didn’t read them completely the first time. I’m glad I read them again. Some are questions that people would avoid even it they wanted to know the answers. I feel these questions presented with sincerity and I believe your answers were just as sincere.

bethfinke On October 18, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Yes, their honesty and sincereity was contagious. I answered as honestly as I was able….

becky On October 17, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Love such deep questions! I look forward to hearing the answers – will fly to Chicago!

bethfinke On October 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Ha! Maybe you can combine it with the marathon next October…?

Susan Ohde On October 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Wow! Those questions were so bold. I’d love to hear the answers too, but they are such personal questions. I always figure if the author didn’t write about such stuff, they didn’t intend for it to be revealed, but then again you’re there to answer questions.

bethfinke On October 22, 2012 at 10:33 am

Susan, you make a good point, but something I’ve learned from editing some of the essays the writers in my memoir classes do: there are times they neglect to write about something because they are so close to the event that they don’t realize how interesting it is to those of us on the outside. This was the case with me — “Long Time, No See” doesn’t answer some of the questions these college kids had simply because it didn’t dawn on me that anyone might be interested in knowing such things.
And Nancy, thanks for the encouragement. I’m putting a lot of thought into what Judy Spock said in her comment above: if we become less “able” physically as we get older, perhaps we become more able to get perspective on the human condition. As Judy says, perhaps writing a second memoir “would be a rich experience for every one of us…re-playing, re-thinking our first, original, ‘take’ on events while deepening our understanding of ‘self’ and ‘other’.”

Nancy Koehler On October 22, 2012 at 9:38 am

The questions were great! I would love to hear your answers and learn more about you, but I know the questions were very personal. Hope you will write another memoir.

bethfinke On October 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I’m gonna try (to write another memoir, I mean) — thanks for the encouragement, Nancy!

Deborah Darsie On October 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Great questions from the students and I now have to track down a copy of ‘Long Time, No See’ from the library!

Also, I got a huge kick from the questions the kids asked after class via email. Such inquisitive minds!

bethfinke On October 29, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I am always delighted to hear that libraries have copies of Long Time,No See on their shelves — I benifitted *greatly* fomr my local public library when I was a kid and it makes me smile now to know my book is available at local libraries for anyone who wants to read it –please let me know if you find a copy in your library, that will make me feel good!

Sheila Silver-Brown On January 8, 2016 at 10:29 pm

I had Janie Isackson as a teacher at Niles East High School in Skokie, IL, back in the very early 1970s. She was a wonderful, thoughtful person and I really enjoyed being in her literature classes. She was just so cool.

bethfinke On January 11, 2016 at 10:12 am

You’re one of many, many lucky ones out here who have been touched by Janie’s teaching. Okay if I send her your contact info? I have a feeling she might like to get in touch…

_____

R. Janie Friedman Isackson On January 11, 2016 at 3:57 pm

Thanks to both Sheila and Beth. This is a gratifying way to begin 2016.
R. Janie Friedman Isackson

R. Janie Friedman Isackson On January 11, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Thank you. It is gratifying to know that I chose a profession wisely and that it meant something to others. Janie

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