I get exhausted by NFL coverage in any normal season–it’s everywhere, and though I watch the Bears when they’re on, I generally don’t have an affection for football. So, I am especially exhausted by all the recent hype about Ray Rice, Roger Goodell, etc., etc., etc., as the King of Siam would say.
Also troubled. And not necessarily for obvious reasons. But because, as is pretty much business as usual in modern culture, I wonder if real stuff is obscured by hand-waving, hyped up blather.
To start, we have the video of Ray Rice (an NFL star running back, for those who have been lucky enough to miss all this) punching, I mean landing a direct hit, on his then fiancé (now wife). It’s disgusting, and there’s not much to say about it. Though there’s no shortage of loudmouths spouting outrage. There’s also been a lot to say about who knew what when, and whether this has Watergate implications for the commissioner, and what does this say about the game and….
Well, a couple things trouble me. First, it’s sad that domestic violence–which is an everyday, horrible, terrifying and fatal fact of life for countless people (mostly, but not all, women)–only gets this kind of attention when the NFL is involved. It’s perverse really.
Second, here’s the way I look at it: It wouldn’t matter so much what the freakin’ NFL’s policy on domestic violence was if our public judicial and social systems were in order with regard to domestic violence. Because if someone is threatened, they should be able to go to the police, press charges, and receive the protection they need in the meantime. And if the accused is convicted, presumably (s)he goes to jail or enters some sort of program–the extent to which it interferes with work then coming into the employer’s purview.
I’ve never looked to the NFL for leadership on anything, particularly anything regarding morality or civil behavior. And I don’t think for one second that what the NFL does in the wake of all this will have a substantive effect on how domestic violence is treated in day to day life, out of the spotlight. Unless maybe we take it as a signal to act quietly and resolutely out of the spotlight, as citizens, to change things. Sometimes I think reality TV has seeped into our world views so much that we don’t distinguish between reality and TV.
Mike,
I so agree with all you’ve said.
What puzzles me is if this woman were Ray Rice’s fiance, why did she become his wife?? That puzzles me a lot. Monna
Monna, what I understand is that the “stand by the abuser” phenomenon is a common part of the complicated psychology in abusive situations. In other case, the abused party stays out of fear–the abuser threatens to hurt her, her loved ones, or even their children. It’s horrible but way too common.
Yes it is horrible, but somewhat understandable to stand by the abuser. But to marry them? I think she had children but still it seem there should be another way.
Yes, it’s perverse. But if it brings attention to, and and causes discussion of, maybe that can be a good thing. It’s all part of the snail-paced evolution of our civilized world.
Yeah, if it gets people to pay more attention, it can be a good thing.
Mike – your post fit well with my feelings during those two eternal weeks od speculation and scrutiny.
With all the so-called reality TV the veil between real life and ‘reality’ has gotten foggy.
Not enough people are consciously using critical thinking skills to wonder about credibility.
I do appreciate the eyes returning to the horrible cycle of domestic violence. Reminding people where the resources are, it is OK to ask for help and even when you have kids or pets there are more options becoming available.
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