December 21 is our great-niece Floey’s tenth birthday, and I’m giving her the gift of a lifetime: on Monday she’ll come along to watch an ocularist polish her Great Aunt Beth’s fake eye.
Eye surgeons did all they could to restore my vision when retinopathy set in thirty years ago. One of my eyes is still intact, but the other one shrunk so much from all the surgeries that I can’t hold that eyelid open.
I wear a prosthesis in that eye, every once in a while it needs a polish, and Floey is the lucky girl who gets to come along with me Monday and see how its done.
The best way I could think of to prepare Floey for what she’s in for on her birthday was to send her the link to a guest post our friend Charlie Gullett wrote four years ago when he accompanied me on a visit to the ocularist. I reread his post before sending it Floey’s way. It was so good that I thought it worth publishing here again. With any luck we can get Floey to write a guest post with her impressions once her birthday is over, but for now…here’s Charlie.
That’s a whole lotta eyeballs right there. (By Chuck Gullett.)
A trip to the ocularist
Between Harper’s retirement and Whitney’s training, I had the great opportunity to accompany Beth as her “Seeing Eye Chuck” for a visit to the ocularist. The ocularist, as I learned, is the place to go when you need a new glass eye or just a little glass eye maintenance. The ocularist’s office, on the 16th floor of the Garland Building in Chicago, has a spectacular view of Lake Michigan, Millennium Park and Navy Pier. Ironically, the hundreds of eyes in the office are all neatly arranged in drawers and never able to enjoy the view.
On this visit, Beth was going in for a routine cleaning. As an observer, the process is fairly straightforward…
1) Remove glass eye with a device that looks like a miniature Nerf suction cup dart.
2) Try not to make an immature sucking sound as the eye is being removed.
3) Sit back and chat until the eye returns from the onsite laboratory, which I pictured to be somewhat like Grandpa’s lab from the “Munsters.”
When the ocularist returned with the beautifully polished eye, I asked a few questions and Beth talked him into showing me the lab and explaining the cleaning process. What I got was an enthusiastic lesson in the history, making and care of the good ol’ ocular prosthesis, or what we commonly refer to as a glass eye. First off, the eye is not even made of glass. Modern glass eyes are actually made of acrylic, which is extremely durable and more cost effective to manufacture.
The guys in the lab area told me about the heroic GI’s returning from WWII having a large demand for glass eyes. The glass eyes would tend to break by accident or “accidentally” around the time a GI wanted to visit the big city. A shortage in high quality imported glass and the cost of replacement eyes prompted the government to find a better material to make artificial eyes. Now, we have the modern version in durable acrylic.
So, what’s your guess? (By Chuck Gullett)
To give you an idea of how durable the eyes are, Beth has had the same peeper for 25 years and the last time she had it polished was 4 years ago. Each eye is hand crafted for its owner and is a true piece of art. I looked through the drawers of sample eyes and the level of detail is really stunning. The blood vessels are recreated with silk threads while the pupil and iris take laborious hours to hand paint so they look realistic. The ocularist had notes from Beth’s last two visits where they recommended that she get fitted for a new eye, but Beth just smiled and said, “Yeah, I kinda like this one.” I like that one, too. I had no idea that Beth even had a glass eye. One eye is real and one is not. You can try to guess which is which, but good luck.
Anyway, I also learned that the cleaning/ polishing process is much like polishing jewelry. There is a buffing wheel and several different compounds to remove build-up and leave a nice smooth surface. The ocularist works the eye until it is just right, then rinses it off and you are ready to go. I associate the feeling of a freshly polished glass eye like the smoothness your teeth have after a visit to the dentist.
All in all, it was a great afternoon. I got to spend some quality time with a friend, feed my odd curiosity with something out of the ordinary and learn something new. Anytime Whitney needs a day off, I’ll be happy to help out.
I have many memories of the Garland Building. I hope Floey learns a lot – maybe she will want to become an oculist or optometrist. I learned something, too, about how often you visit them! Now I know.
Pretty cool to think that Floey might decide to become an ocularist or optometrist after accompanying me to my eye polish Mondaywho knows?….
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I was just chatting with S Bradley and Tom McC about this fun field trip we did! Very timely! Happy birthday to Floey 🙂
So glad you saw this, Charlie! Your “mepaleo” moniker rmeinded me that I should have linked your name in the post to the blog you and René have about the paleo lifestyle. I just added the link to your name in the post –I know people who read this post here will want to read more of your writing.
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Beth, screw going to the ocularist! I polish rocks in my basement and have lots of polishing wheels, buffing compound, etc. I can fit you in anytime you want. I also serve beer, wine or cocktails while you wait. I will purchase one of these eye plungers and we will be good to go!
Beer, wine or cocktails while we wait?! I’m in!
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OMG, I hope I’m not out of place here, but I LMAO reading this. It so reminded me of a trip to the dentist, of which I’ve had many lately. Beth, after reading Floey’s report, you could make a fortune selling tickets to this event. You have my reservation. I’ll be checking with Hot Tix to see if it is sold out. All the best for a great Holiday. You are an amazing person. And Floey seems to be following in Aunt Beth’s footsteps.
Love the idea! Hmm. How much should I charge…?
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Beth, this is such a fascinating post! Thank you to you & your friend Charlie. I could still see when I was a kid, and back then I was totally wierded out by blind people in general; I didn’t know what to say to them or how to act. Then fast forward to 2007 when I got my Guide Dog Brio. The young woman in the dorm room next to mine was visiting in my room, chatting with my roommate (we had them back then) & all of a sudden they started laughing. Her eye or eyes had popped out (I mean this literally, not as a figure of speech!) I was mortified. I am so glad my roommate found the humor, but I was totally grossed out. Through the past 8 years I’ve had at least 2 friends get prosthesis eyes &each time I hear of it, I get annoyed at my self for feeling so weirded out by it. However, no one has ever explained it as fun as you & Charlie have done here. I actually find myself picturing the beauty of our great city while in the Garland building & even thinking of a great restaurant in there too, I amnot feeling grossed out @ all. What a great gift for your niece on her double digit birthday! I have 2 sons who have never known the awkwardness of meeting a blind person for the first time. that is because they’ve always been exposed to it in the positive. If things are unknown they can become scary, gross or just wrong. I love that you’ve brought us with you for this intimate experience. I am left feeling fascinated & a little more knowledgeable.
I don’t blame you for being wiereded out at guide dog school. I try not to pop mine out in public!
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This is fascinating! I never noticed that one of Beth’s eyes is a “glass” eye. I also didn’t know that they’re now made of acrylic. I never knew that eyes needed polishing. So many things learned from this post!
You have Charlie to thank –what a great writer he is!
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Just read this blog to Floey and Ray. She is very excited to go with you, and is agreeable to writing a guest blog…no big deal. “But Mom? Can I get my own email?” Ray thinks it’s cool that Beth has a fake eye, but does NOT want to know which one it is.
Oh, I hope she does write a guest blog. But when will she find the time, what, with all the celebrating this week?!
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Fun read. I too don’t want to know which is the real fake. I still watch old Columbo episodes and don’t wonder which of Peter Falk’s eyes is the real fake either. The technology is so simple and the craft of making them is so exacting and specific; thanks for sharing this interesting and somewhat secret world.
You know, when we published this originally four years ago it didn’t dawn on me how “somewhat secret” this world is, but like you so often do, Benita, you’ve put it into the perfect phrase here. When we published this post in 2011, I didn’t write an introduction. Perhaps what really makes it seem so secret is the part of the introduction here where I come right out and say my eye shrunk from the trauma of all those surgeries in 1985. Didn’t mean to creep people out, just seemed the subject matter begged for an explanation. Must confess that simply writing that sentence in the introduction made me realize what trauma Mike and I went through back then, too.I feel grateful we are still together and have each other. Glad you and Henry have each other, too –happy holidays, my friend..
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[…] the guest post you’ve been waiting for! Floey’s account of her tenth birthday celebration in Chicago […]
Please give your “Seeing Eye Chuck” a reward for being such a wonderful helper and storyteller!
How much training do you need to give to people who will be acting in that capacity? Whether between dogs or other reason(s) for your dog being unavailable.
If you choose someone with common sense (not everyone has it) it only takes a few seconds. And Charlie has a lot of common sense, as you probably can tell from how well he writes.
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