I feel good in this outfit, and my Seeing Eye dog Whitney likes the fur coat she is wearing, too.
I was 26 years old when I lost my sight. A Vietnam Veteran who was blinded in a military training accident was assigned to teach me how to cook.
A friend who visited me at Braille Jail (that’s what I called the facility I was sent to in order to learn new blind skills) told me what this teacher looked like. “That guy? He has long sideburns and long hair. Bell bottoms!” my friend said. “He looks like a rock and roller from the 70s!”
The year was 1985. I was horrified.
I started fidgeting with the buttons on my denim jumper, wiggling my toes against the flat cotton shoes on my feet. These clothes I’d bought when I could see would wear out sometime. What would I replace them with? Would I forever DRESS as if it were 1985?
We didn’t have much money back then, but my husband Mike saw to it from the start that I shop at the most expensive and exclusive clothing store in town. My first time there, I paraded out of the dressing room in a tight pair of leggings. The store owner gasped. “Oh, honey – you’ve got some big hips!” Now here was a woman I could trust.
I’ve never put on leggings again, but most of the clothing I wear comes from smaller boutique-type stores. I get to know the store owners and staff and trust them to be honest about what looks good on me –and what doesn’t.
Shopping online is cheaper, I know. A computer screen doesn’t allow a person to feel a piece of clothing, though, and I choose what I wear by how the fabric feels — and I feel — when I wear it.
People with disabilities get stared at. I can’t see the stares, but I sure can feel them. And as long as they’re watching, I want to look good.
Apparently, I do. That’s what people tell me, at least. And Without being able to look in a mirror and judge for myself, I have the luxury of believing them.
This post was published on the Easterseals National blog this week afterEasterseals Thrive hosted a Twitter chat about disability and fashion.
Your black fitted waist 1940’s glam dress is still my all time favorite. Makes you look like a movie star!
Oh, pwright, you are so sweet. I save that dress for special occasions. Need to make one happen soon. Perhaps in Pittsburgh?
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I’ll plan a ball if it meant you and Mike could attend!
I have good news to share about my next book. Looks like we’ll have something to celebrate soon. That dress you like so much is black, shall we make it a black & white ball?
Love that picture!
See what I mean? We must look good!
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When my husband went blind in 1982… We were basically sent home from the ophthalmologist’s office. We had to figure out everything on our own.
My husband and I have three daughters; he is snappy yet conservative in his clothing. He appreciates our helping him with his clothes, after all, he was pretty clueless when he could see.
Mike and I were sent home from the ophthalmologist office after hearing the news, too, but saw, ahem, to it that we find somewhere to go for help. Am guessing (hoping?) things have changed by now and social workers get involved right away.
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I love your clothes. You dress the way I’d like to. You’re so right about the importance of looking good. I always judge the book by the cover, no matter how much I pray to change that particular character defect. I figure this is a common trait. I try to dress comfortably and different enough so others’ impression of me is NOT “that fat lady with the glasses.” I love color so I’m going for “that lady who wears all the colors.” Oh and people who say they don’t care what other people think of the way they dress? They should.
Any time I’m with you, Regan, I hear someone compliment you on the colors you’ve chosen, and how you coordinate them. Your happy response alerts me to how good that makes you feel. That’s one (of many) reasons I have such a positive picture of you, my friend.
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I stopped looking in mirrors many years ago! I am not the person I see looking back at me. Beth you are a wordsmith with a true sense of style –
A unique and independent little girl who grew up to be a unique and independent woman.
A newspaper publisher in ….. was it second grade?
Re: fashion advice from others. I wish I had received some guidance when I purchased my plaid maternity pants many years ago. My hips deserved to have their own zip code!
Sue Mason Egan
Imagine my surprise to find your name in the comments here, Sue! You are right, I did have that “Neighborhood News” paper when I was in second grade. Never considered it as my first “publication” but glad you pointed that out now. I’ll put it on my vita. In other news, I was just in for an annual check-up yesterday and my doctor pointed out that I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes *fifty*years ago this month. I remember so vividly you and Janet Sieracki coming with my big sister Cheryl to visit me in the hospital, you lit up the room and brought me neato gifts — sparkly pink slippers come to mind. And so there you have it –you were a fashion advisor back then with those princess slippers, Sue. I’ll forgo the plaid pants, though, thanks. And in all honesty, thank you for leaving this very fun — and complimentary –comment. You make me feel good.
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Wasn’t your wedding announced in “The Neighborhood News”? I guess I never payed to much attention to your plaid maternity pants. Guess I thought you were pretty cool that you could match them with your “madras” shirt:)
You know, I honestly think Sue’s wedding *did* make the Neighborhood News. That paper was chock-full of fascinating and important information.
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Beth,
Yes you do look good. And I got to share a shopping experience with you. There was on article in the Styles section of the New York Times this Thursday. It showed designers designing for people with disabilities. A Parsons student had some beautiful designs for a person who used a wheel chair. This is a way in which our society is becoming more sensitive. Its nice to know there are some good things happening in this world.
Monna
I always think you look great. I might need the names of some of those boutiques!
Happy to share. Warning, though: they really are more expensive than shopping online!
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Thank you Beth for this blog….I sometimes wondered how you can dress so well. And yes, you have a certain style, classic but never boring. It also made me realize how much I myself connect dress with self confidence. Hmm!
Hmm is right. Is connecting dress with self confidence a good thing, or a bad thing? My self-confidence tells me it’s a good thing….ha!
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I just read to my 16 year old daughter who is visually impaired. The part about being stared at and wanting to look good resonated with us especially since we have been struggling with the “caring how you look” part over here. Just because you can’t see them staring doesn’t mean you have to give up caring about your outward appearance. Great post Beth – thank you!
Charlie,
It is always so good to hear from you. You might be interested to learn that writing this post inspired me to give a writing assignment to the older adults in the memoir classes I lead here in Chicago. I asked them to write about “something that, as an adult, you have habitually spent too much money on and don’t regret it.” I’d write about clothes. Or visiting people in foreign countries and getting to know the neighborhood they live in there.
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