Today’s blogger, Cam Estes.
To honor what would have been John Lennon’s 80th birthday yesterday, I asked writers in my memoir classes to choose a Beatles song title and use that as the title of their 500-word memoir. A few writers came back with essays about being “back in the USSR,” one wrote about how they “should have known better, and a few wrote on what might have happened “If I Fell…”. You get the picture.
Today’s guest blogger, Cam Estes, a 76-year-old retired businessman and entrepreneur, was the only one who wrote a piece about his “Taxman.” A mindful meditator and meditation guide to fellow seekers of better trained minds, Cam generously offered to share his honest and powerful essay here with you Safe & Sound blog readers.
Taxman
by Cameron Estes
Gay relationships in the 1980s meant lots of social caution. My lover/partner, Hal, and I lived and worked together as we built a business selling high end calculators mail-order and through a small shop on Lincoln Avenue in Skokie. Within months we had grown the staff, the sales and our plans for the future. We grew exponentially in our personal and business lives. The business growth culminated in taking the company public — mainly to get Hal’s father out of the business.
One year after taking Elek-Tek public, Hal committed suicide.
We had been together 13 years. The unexpected suicide left behind a devastated, PTSD me.
No marriage for gay couples in 1994 so years before we had taken a gamble and left major assets in Hal’s name. After all, he was 10 years younger, and far healthier with no vices to compare with my cigarettes. Suicide introduced me to the taxman, Inequality, and the chaos of conflicting government laws.
If we had been married there would have been no tax. Not having the same rights as heterosexual couples created a great disadvantage. Hal had 2.5 million shares of the stock in his name. Since it was a recent public offering, the stock was labeled SEC144 stock and could not be sold to the public. But the Taxman wanted 50% of the value for estate tax.
I hired the “best” estate lawyers. The attorneys told me how much trouble I was in due to Hal’s death and convinced me to pay the taxman all the cash I could raise, took $500,000 for themselves, and then told me that I was stuck for the rest of my life paying the Taxman due to their “incredible” guidance.
I still owed the taxman millions of dollars, the board forced me out of the company I had built noting that I had too many personal challenges. Eighteen months later the company was bankrupt and I had a worthless stock certificate. The idea of working the rest of my life for the taxman was not appealing. To earn those millions would take a huge effort and might not be successful.
I withdrew.
The taxman went very quiet for years. But then, when I was almost 70, the phone rang and I heard a voice say “this is the taxman.” I felt a flush of sheer black fluid run through my body. Nothing functioned for a minute. And then I responded.
The taxman started proceedings to sue me again. Seven years earlier the taxman had pulled a law suit the day before we went in front of a judge. The agent had told me that the IRS did not want to sue me but they did not know how to end the whole affair. This time the Taxman said, “If you fight and lose, we will take IRA accounts and 1/2 of your social security.” My new attorneys said “the Federalist Society controls the court, your chances are minimal.”
I succumbed to the sweet song of the taxman and gave them my all.
Thank you for sharing. A story to remind us all of the horrific history of inequality in our country.
You know, that is exactly what fellow writers in Cam’s clss said after he read his piece in class. You’ll be happy to know that Cam is happily married now, and he and his spouse have been together for 25 years.
OMG!!!
Wow
What a terrible experience and so unfair! Thank you Beth for letting us know that Cam is happily married. He looks so happy in his photo and that explains it! A great Beatles tune that will have a whole new meaning when I listen to it again. Thank you Cam for sharing!
I am enraged by this, even though I do not know this man. I feel his anger and hopelessness. Even the government didn’t know how to put an end to this! WE MUST ALL BE EQUAL. People who are narrowminded don’t look deep enough to realize how LGBTQ’s lives are held back by hatred and fear. Yes, they are making progress, but not all states have equality laws. Politicians who are hateful are trying to rescind the equality laws. My heart goes out to him.
A horrible story, wonderfully written. Another version of “never forget”? Not knowing Cam’s current state of affairs, I could only assume by his smiling face that life took a positive turn. 😊
This is so awful. I am so happy you found a partner and are happily married. Thanks for sharing this difficult tale.
I wept reading this. Anything related to injustice guts me.
Sidebar: to think that Justices Alito and Thomas want to re-visit Obergefell (the case that gave people of the same sex the right to marry) is maddening. And Thomas, of all people, who is married to a white woman!
Cam, thank you for sharing this painful story with us. Especially now, as my fellow readers have pointed out, when there is still going to be a fight over equality issues. And can I say, when our ridiculous potus only paid 750$ in taxes!! Egads. What a story though. And I agree, I’ll be thinking of Cam whenever I hear “Taxman”.
Honest and powerful indeed! Brilliant writing. Those 500 words are serving us well, Beth. Thank you Cam for sharing your experience, strength and hope.
” the IRS did not want to sue me but they did not know how to end the whole affair. ” – this is the biggest scam of it. Enraged! They could have done nothing, for example. I feel for you, Cam, but glad you have moved on.
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