Mondays with Mike: A new scourge 

I’m all for electrification. For houses, for cars, appliances, lawn tools, tractors, trucks, you name it. That’s how we reduce carbon and and climate change.

But not electric scooters. Or “electric bicycles.” (A motor-powered bicycle is, to me, a contradiction in terms. Hence quotes.) Really, it’s like ill-behaved dogs and other pets—it’s not the vehicles that are the problem, it’s the riders/drivers.

Here in my neighborhood, the use of the electric scooters, electrically-aided bicycles, electric skateboards, and things I can’t even describe—has exploded post covid. And like post-covid behavior on the roads, somehow rules and norms have gone out the window. I live on Dearborn Street, where several years ago Rahm Emanuel in a fit of goodness constructed a beautiful protected bike lane that one can ride all the way from our neighborhood to the River North neighborhood.

But if one does, one must obey the traffic lights and other conventions. Which ain’t happening.

It has become a common occurrence for one of our neighbors to yell at bicyclists riding on the Dearborn sidewalk parallel to that aforementioned bike lane, squeezing through passages that have been narrowed by sidewalk cafes.

For those of you who remember “Breaking Away,” I dream of the stick in the spokes scene. He didn’t deserve it. These people do.

It’s totally inconsistent, which makes it hard on pedestrians and drivers. Right now I see bicycles on sidewalks, in traffic even though there’s a bicycle lane readily available, and, hallelujah, others using the bike lanes.

I see scooters in all three avenues, too.

If you look at promotions for these electric things one of the funnier claims is that they’re good for the environment. Um, probably not. Batteries require resources and making them isn’t a pretty, clean process. So we’re doing that instead of asking people to, you know, walk. Pedal. Push off. A little more exercise would be good for all of us.

Anyway, like a lot of stuff I imagine that regulation and legalities will catch up and help remedy the matter. In some states and localities, the rules are clearer than others. And that is as it should be. The suburbs are a very different environment than where I live. But right now I see bicycles on sidewalks, in traffic when there’s a bicycle lane readily available, and, hallelujah, using the bike lanes.

And I wonder, if I’m a pedestrian and I get struck by a bicyclist or scooter, are they liable? Do they have insurance (answer is likely no).

I also see a nice source of revenue here. Just station bike cops all over and start handing out $50 tickets. We’d get a boost and it’d probably fix the problem in 3-6 months.

And then of course, the ambulance—er, scooter—chasers will probably jump in at any time now. And, maybe that’s not a bad thing.