I’ve been visiting elementary schools with my Seeing Eye dogs more than 25 years now, so it’d be reasonable to think I’ve heard every single question a kid would dream up when it comes to blindness or guide dogs.

That’s us at St. Francis Xavier. (Photo by Jackie Petrozzi.)

Jackie Petrozzi

But hey, who ever accused kids of being reasonable?

Last Friday afternoon my Seeing Eye dog Whitney and I took a commuter train to Wilmette, a Chicago suburb, to talk with 400 students at St. Francis Xavier School. School leaders wisely broke the students into two groups – I spoke with the kids between kindergarten and 4th grade first, and then spent an hour with the kids between 5th and 8th grades.

Teachers read my children’s book Hanni and Beth: Safe & Sound to all the younger ones before Whitney and I arrived. The older students prepared for our visit by watching our wonderful What’s it Like to Go Blind? video – that’s the YouTube the guys at The Good Stuff put together for us. With all that advanced research under their belts, the kids were armed with some very well thought-out questions when Whitney and I arrived.

In addition to asking the classic ones about how I get dressed, how I cook, and how I drive, the kids at St. Francis Xavier came up with some questions I’ve never been asked before:

• How long did it take to adapt to your blindness?
• When you write your books, how do you see the edits?
• You know how, sometimes, when the sun hits your eyes, and you squint, but you keep looking at the sun for too long, and then, you close your eyes real tight, and it makes you see colors? You know, like fireworks? Well, if you do that, can you still see those colors?
• Does your dog ever make a mistake?
• If they didn’t pick a dog for you, and you could choose your own Seeing Eye dog, why would you choose Whitney?
• How did you get here to take chances?

I really appreciate — and encourage — children’s curiosity, so I assure kids ahead of time that I’ll answer absolutely every question they ask during my presentations. I repeat each question before I answer it, too, so that one, I can make sure I heard it right; two, everyone in the audience can know what the question is; and three, most importantly, I have time to come up with an answer.

The kids were all seated criss-cross applesauce on the gym floor during our presentation, shortest ones in front, tallest in the back. That last question, the one about taking chances? It came from the front rows during my first presentation, which made me think the boy who’d asked was in kindergarten.

“How did I get to the point where I have to take chances?” I repeated. “Why do I have to take chances?” I’d never, ever been asked that one before. “Hmmm,” I said, turning my head toward the sound of the little boy who’d asked. “I’m going to need a couple seconds to think that one over.”

I started pondering my answer. Why do I still take chances? Didn’t I just break my hand in December after a fall? Wouldn’t you think I’d take fewer chances, seeing that I’m blind and all? Maybe this boy was right, maybe I should slow down….

Just when I was about to credit the kindergartner  for making a good point, he interrupted. “Not chances,” he said, sounding exasperated by his lisp. “Francis! How did you get to Saint Frances?” He just wanted to know how Whitney and I had managed to make it on our own all the way from Chicago to his school in the suburbs that day!

As promised, here’s guest post #2 by DJ Mermaid. In our hour together this past week she and I discussed some of the positive comments you left to her post last week. She isn’t quite ready to respond online to the comments you leave here, but trust me, she does read – and reread – them, so keep ‘em coming. Her guest post this week gives you a glimpse, ahem, of what a role model she is for me when it comes to self-advocacy.

by DJ Mermaid

Humans are very kind and helpful, even when you do not want it (although it is nice to have help “sometimes”). I have a physical disability and I get a “Do you want my hand, sweetie?” a lot.

DJ Mermaid and her little bother, er, brother.

I have cerebral palsy (CP) and I move a little different than anybody else does. Here are my tips on how to decline help when not needed:

• In public always do things with your head up high and with a confident air to them. (That makes people know you are a PERSON!) It also may reassure people that you do not need help.
• Say no politely when people ask you if you need help when you don’t need it.
• If people just grab your hand or another part of your body physically without asking first, say NO quite loudly!

I have had a few experiences that I want to share with you so that you can get in my shoes — or fin, as I should say.

I was in Schaumburg, enjoying dinner at Bonefish Grill with my grandparents. (If you go I recommend Bang Bang shrimp). We were walking down the sidewalk when out of the deep blue sea this weirdo woman extended her hand and expected me to TAKE IT! (I was doing quite fine on my own if you ask me.) Of course, like I should have done I ignored her hand and said to her, “No thank you!”

Thankfully I survived that, but sadly human nature struck again at school when I had a substitute teacher’s assistant one morning. My amazing mom and I ascended the stairs leading into the school facility when an aide walked out and put forth her hand to take me into the building. I brushed by her and said, “No thank you!”

Just before I went in, my mother hugged me and said, “The first thing this woman wanted to do was grab your hand. Make sure you educate her today.” DUH. I know, mom.

One person, though, treats me like all the rest. Introducing… my little bother — er, brother that is. He always wants to win games that we play, always wants more dessert and so on. Sadly with him I can’t use CP to my advantage. Although I sometimes despise him, he and I protect and stand up for each other.

At school once I heard some of his classmates making fun of me. Literally the next morning in SCHOOL (!!) my brother and the boys marched up to my desk and somberly apologized. I didn’t even know it, but my brother SCREAMED at those boys and he and his teacher made them apologize.

Well that’s the end of my 2nd post!

-DJ Mermaid!

Our friends Jim and Kathy Zartman invited Mike and me to a pretty cool event tonight. We’re going to a gala that benefits the Chicago School of Violin Making, and it sure sounds like my kind of party:

1. Starts early – 6:30 p.m.
2. Begins with a sampling of three to four wines
3. Promises ”substantial”  Hors d’oeurves along with the wine
4. Features a string quartet during cocktail hour
5. Ends with Acclaimed violinist Rachel Barton Pine playing a number of different violins – one of them made by the violinist from the quartet we will have heard earlier.

I’ve known Jim Zartman for nearly five years — his wife Kathy is in the memoir-writing class I lead on Thursday afternoons for Lincoln Park Village. Jim often drives Whitney and me to that class, and during those rides together over the years I’ve had the privilege of hearing his stories about growing up in a small town in Illinois, the mother who gave him his first violin, and getting free room and board in exchange for working as a houseboy for John Kenneth Galbraith’s family at Harvard. “They said they named their son Jamie after me,” he told me once. “But I’m not sure that’s true.”

Jim is not exactly forthcoming, but when I ask questions, he answers. In our 20-minute rides to class he’s shared stories of raising a family with Katherine, his appreciation for his talented grandchildren, his work writing the Illinois Power of Attorney Act and then getting it through the state legislature during his career as partner in the Chicago firm of Chapman and Cutler, and his role as president of the board of the Chicago School of Violin Making.

Jim and Kathy Zartman.

A couple years ago Jim arranged for me to have a tour of the school, wich is one of just three violin-making schools in the United States. Jessie Gilbert, a graduate of the school who took over for Jim as president of the board there last year, led my one-on-one tour. Her strong hands guided me along blocks of maple and spruce that were to become instruments, and I met teachers and students who had come from all over the world to participate in the schools three-year program — students aspire to the quality craftsmanship of the 17th and 18th century classical masters and are ready to enter the violin making and repair field as professionals once they graduate.

I didn’t stay long — it wasn’t fair to distract the students from their work. While I was there, though, I was taken by how quiet the workspace was  — no music to work by, just the intense sound of careful carving and fine sanding. And tonight, I’ll have the privilege of hearing Rachel Barton Pine perform on some of the results of all that hard work. This. Is. So. Cool.

In 1975 I was 18 and the world was my oyster. Actually, back then I’d never had an oyster, but you know what I mean.

I was a freshman in a triple dorm room that was pretty much identical to a double room except it had a bunk bed and three closets. Forbes Hall was all male, heavy on scholarship athletes, and each floor shared two communal bathrooms and showers.

And it was the absolute best. I’d finally gotten out of high school, away from my BORING home town, living away from home, at the University of Illinois, back then a stone cold bargain at under $500 for tuition. I was scared stiff and excited all at the same time. To me, Champaign-Urbana was the very best place in the world.

The UIUC Quad in February. Nutty.

A lot besides the tuition has changed on campus. Chain stores and restaurants and high-rises have replaced familiar old dives in campus town. The dorm complex I lived in has been demolished and replaced with digs that we would have considered palatial.

But still. My visit there this past weekend felt so familiar. To start I saw Barry, a Web developer whom I met at a job eons ago—before there was a Web. We played catch-up and I met some of his swell friends for the first time. Then there was Hanni (Beth’s 16-year-old retired Seeing Eye dog)—I stayed with her and Steven and Nancy one night.

Saturday morning Steven gave me a lift to visit another long-time friend, Jeff, who recently moved to new digs. Jeff showed me his in-progress renovation projects and we caught up effortlessly over coffee and homemade banana muffins. From there it was a healthy hike to Jim and Judy’s—friends and former neighbors—where we sat on their grand front porch and soaked in unseasonably warm weather and a springish breeze while we shot our own breeze.

It was so nice outside that walking was a pleasure, so I decided to hike the mile or two to downtown Champaign (which itself has transformed from a hollowed out ghost town to an entertainment district dense with restaurants and bars and music clubs).

The walk took me through campus—past some familiar sites like 60s era residence halls that looked exactly as I remembered them. The Krannert Center for the Performing Arts looked in good form. Designed by famed architect (and UI graduate) Max Abramovitz, Krannert is a one-of-kind place. One theater has superb acoustics and has been used by the likes of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for recording. And there were some ancient houses that had long ago been converted to university offices and somehow survived.

And then through the center of it all, the Quad.

So much has changed but as soon as I reached the Illini Union at the north end of the Quad, I realized not everything has. It could’ve been 1975. It was 65 degrees and students were out in droves, in premature shorts and summer outfits. Quad dogs. Ultimate Frisbee. Blankets and picnics on the grass.

Instantly, intimately familiar. But there were no familiar faces, and so I felt, at once, totally at home and also like a ghost visiting my past.

The experience, though a tad unnerving, was ultimately comforting. Things change. There is loss. But some things—the feel of a cool breeze on the skin, friendships—abide.

Here she is, DJ Mermaid, with her first guest post.

Everyone knows the rule: Only post on the Internet if you won’t have it bite you back later. That includes your personal information for some people.

I am one of them.

This is because I did a StoryCorps interview that went on NPR and then I wrote a post for the Easter Seals national blog. Those go alllllllll over the country and take comments, and I worry about negative comments and social media backstabbing.

So I wanted a pen name.

DJ Mermaid and family doing their best Mary Poppins.

I happen to love mermaids and music (preferably Taylor Swift and Julie Andrews). Now let me give you a little back story on why I like these two things.

The whole mermaid obsession started when I was about two — roughly. I was at my grandparent’s house and I was watching The Little Mermaid with my young aunt. Of course I immediately fell in love with Ariel, the youngest mermaid princess of King Triton. I loved her because at the time I couldn’t really walk and she couldn’t really walk on land either. This made this my favorite movie up until I was six and saw The Sound of Music (more on that later).

About DJs: A DJ is someone who plays music and has a deep passion for the artist/band they like. This is me because I love parties, music, and the pops style.
I got into Taylor Swift when I was about 7-1/2. My friend Emily loved her music and I decided to give it a listen.

I listened to the song “Love Story,” a modern take on Romeo & Juliet. I read the play after I listened to the song. I decided I like her music a lot.

I went to Taylor Swift’s 1989 album World Tour at Soldier Field last summer. I had a lot of fun. While Taylor Swift was singing, two teenage girls sitting in front of me moved out of their seats so I could see Taylor (and her chic outfits!) super-clearly.

My parents and I were up past midnight that night. I was belting out the songs and my dad was just drinking beer and margaritas.

Julie Andrews is probably the best classical singer of all time. I loved her in her role as Maria, the nun from the Salzburg Abbey in The Sound of Music. When I was in kindergarten, my whole family dressed as the Mary Poppins cast because I loved the movie so much and because my favorite actress was in it. (I loved her and her role in both of the movies mentioned!) I was Jane Banks. I wore braids and a Victorian dress.

Well, that’s the end of my post, folks! Bye.

-DJ Mermaid