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Observing much ….

April 24, 20128 CommentsPosted in memoir writing, Uncategorized, writing

Last fall I started teaching a second weekly memoir-writing class for senior citizens. Anna Perlberg is one of the students in that second class at

Anna Nessy Perlberg with her best friend, Brady (photo by Mark Perlberg).

Lincoln Park Village, and it’s been a treat to hear her unveil her stories out loud to us every Thursday.

Anna’s husband Mark Perlberg co-founded the Poetry Center of Chicago and served as its president for 13 years. Anna has spent a lifetime listening to poetry, and she reads her own essays aloud in class with exquisite rhythm and timing. You don’t need to be able to see to know that everyone in class is at the edge of their seats when Anna reads, riveted by her words.

I assigned “Feeling Homesick” as a topic for the Lincoln Park Village class, and Anna showed up the next week with an excerpt from a piece she’d written for the Prairie Schooner, a journal published in cooperation with the University of Nebraska Press and the Creative Writing Program of the University of Nebraska.

Anna was born in Czechoslovakia. Her mother, Julia Nessy, was a lyric soprano and performed widely throughout Europe during the 1920s. Her father studied law and served under Czechoslovakia’s first president. “The young republic prospered,” Anna’s voice sounds like soft velvet when she reads in class. Regal, yet comforting. “It’s first president, Thomas Masaryk, set a tone of high-minded humanism; the economy grew, the arts flourished, and the mix of cultures–Czech, German, and Jewish–made the capital, Prague, a rich center of European life.” Czechoslovakia’s First Republic lasted only twenty years before Hitler’s army invaded, and World War II began.

“Those twenty years were the high point of both my parents’ lives,” Anna tells us.

I liked the excerpt Anna read so much that she surprised me with a copy of the journal the next week. I dug out my old cassette recorder when I got home from class, and Mike sat with me on the couch to read the complete essay out loud. Anna describes herself as a “shy, precocious nine-year-old girl,” when she left home with her parents and two older brothers as Hitler’s army seized Prague in March of 1939. The family took a circuitous, and often hair raising, route to New York City, and Anna’s story details countless friends and complete strangers who helped along the way. “I observed much, though I understood little, as we left one world for another in America.”

Anna’s beloved husband Mark Perlberg died in 2008 of complications from leukemia, and she has spent the years since then gathering his unpublished poems. Mark Perlberg’s posthumous collection, Theater of Memory, will be published by Louisiana State University Press in the fall of 2012, and three previously unpublished poems from Theater of Memory will appear in the spring issue of Prairie Schooner. While you’re at the Prairie Schooner site to read the current issue with Mark Perlberg’s poems, I suggest you order a copy of the Fall, 2010 journal as well. That’s where you’ll find Anna’s complete essay and learn about her amazing journey to America.

Switching the 5 to a 6

April 21, 201215 CommentsPosted in Flo, Uncategorized

My loyal blog readers will remember the tribute to our dad that my sister Cheryl wrote as a guest post here a few months ago. She’s back today with this sweet essay about Flo on her 96th birthday.

Honey Girls

by Cheryl May

Beth, Cheryl, Flo and Bev on Flo's 96thLast year we celebrated Mom’s 95th birthday on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Building in downtown Chicago. It was her first time there, and she still talks about that special celebration. This year she told us she didn’t want to do anything special. “It’s gonna be special already,” she said. “The new baby is due on my birthday!”

Well, Mom’s birthday gift was delivered a little early. Her 20th great-grandchild, Addison Rose, arrived on April 13th….and what a beautiful gift. So when we gathered for Mom’s 96th birthday yesterday we raised a glass or two — in celebration of both Mom’s and Addie’s birthday.

Our sister Bev drove in from Michigan and surprised Flo at the entrance of the restaurant, and our cousin Darrell stopped in, too. Mom marveled that her first birthday phone call that morning came at 7 a.m. “Seven in the morning!” she said, shaking her head in amazement every time she said it. “Can you believe that?”

What she couldn’t know then was that a string of phone calls would be waiting on her answering machine when we brought her back to her condo, culminating with a Liberace-style rendering of “Happy Birthday” from Pick and Hank in D.C. Pick at the grand piano, of course!

A neighbor at mom’s condo had decorated her door a la college dorm room days. “The sign said 95,” Mom said. “She got it wrong. I changed the five to a six.” Neighbors couldn’t help but notice the sign, and birthday cards started piling up under her door. “So many cards!” she beamed. She didn’t take a nap yesterday, so much going on and all. I don’t feel tired,” she assured us. “But I know I will once I sit down and put my feet up.”

Some of us can never remember the name of the “new” small restaurant we meet at across from the Elmhurst train station, so we just say, “you know, Honey Girl.” Heads nod, all of us remembering the clothes store that used to occupy that space when we were growing up. And today, it was the perfect name for the place we celebrated Florence Maria Martea Frederika and her new great-granddaughter Addie Rose: Honey Girl!

Monkey business

April 17, 20123 CommentsPosted in book tour, Mike Knezovich, Uncategorized, writing

Here’s my husband Mike Knezovich with a book review.

Sometimes when I’m at an airport, a hotel lobby, walking down a city street, in an elevator, I watch the humans and think: Really, we’re all monkeys.

I learned there is some truth to that glib observation a few years ago when I wrote a freelance article on the work of Dario Maestripieri, professor of

Dario Maestripieri will talk about his book and his work on Thursday, April 19, 6:00 p.m. at Sandmeyer's Bookstore, 714 S. Dearborn in Chicago.

comparative human development, evolutionary biology, neurobiology, and psychiatry at the University of Chicago. Maestripieri has been watching human behavior a long while and sees lots of our behavior as evolutionary strategies and traits – many we still share with other primates.

When I interviewed Dr. Maestripieri, I found out he actually used to live in our building here in the Printers Row neighborhood of Chicago. He rode our elevator every day and watched people give awkward acknowledgements to one another when boarding, then immediately look down, up, at their phone (anything but maintain eye contact); he recognized this behavior as very similar to that of rhesus macaque monkeys when they are in tight quarters.

For a rhesus, baring the teeth and staring are signs of aggression. It’s a leftover in us, too.

That’s one really simple example of a fascinating thesis that’s really well-described in Maestripieri’s new book, Games Primates Play. Those of you who remember the bestseller of yesteryear called Games People Play will understand that Maestripieiri is making a very deliberate play off that title. Where the older book looked at everything from a social point of view, Maestripieiri’s work looks a layer deeper.

Example? Generally, a person walking into a crowded theater will look for a spot that has seats open on both sides. Only if none are available will the person finally plop down arm-to-arm with someone else. A sociologist might say that’s because humans need personal space. In Maestripieri’s research and new book, he asks, “Where does that need come from?”

I’m not doing it justice – I hope you’ll give his book a read and, come down to our favorite neighborhood bookstore, Sandmeyer’s, on Thursday night, April 19. Maestripieri will be giving a short presentation and signing books there at 6 pm. I’m going to do my best to be there with Beth – so come on, join us. After all, monkey see, monkey do.

Settling in

April 14, 20128 CommentsPosted in baseball, Flo, guide dogs, Mike Knezovich, Seeing Eye dogs, Uncategorized

White Sox home opener, 2012. Hot dogs, fireworks, Jack Ingram singing the national anthem, cheering, a fly-over. Both pitchers settled in right from the start, but it took Whitney a little longer — it was the fifth inning before she could sit down!

The White Sox put on a great show – Mike and I had a ball. It was one heck of a well-played, entertaining baseball game. If you appreciate the game, you appreciate great defense, and there was a lot of it: a diving catch in left field by Dayan Viciedo, and shortstop Alexei Ramirez started a double play with a terrific play behind second. Jake Peavy, who suffered a horrendous injury (a muscle literally tore off the bone) two years ago pitched great. The Detroit starter, Max Scherzer, was almost as good for most of the game, so the game went quickly.

Whitney doesn’t yet appreciate the game, so I’m afraid her favorite part of the day was trotting down the ramp to leave the park and go home!

Opening Day started a week of firsts for Whitney. It’s Spa Week in Chicago, so I’ll be celebrating Monday, getting my first massage since coming home with Whitney in December. Will she sit quietly for the entire hour? We’ll see.

And then, this Wednesday Whitney takes a train with me to Champaign where she’ll be asked to sit through her first university lecture: I’m giving a talk to an animal sciences class at the University of Illinois. I plan on telling the students what it’s been like transitioning to a new Seeing Eye dog, then going over some of the qualifications necessary to become a guide dog instructor. Most guide dog schools require instructors to have a college degree and then do an apprenticeship, and some apprenticeships last as long as four years.

Considering that guide dog schools are non-profit organizations, I would guess the pay for apprentices and instructors is far below what a lot of today’s college educated people expect to earn. If you’re looking for job satisfaction, though, this kind of work must be pretty dang rewarding – I’m hoping my talk might motivate some of these University of Illinois students to consider it as a career. I’m also hoping Whitney will settle in to her first university lecture a whole lot faster than she did for her first baseball game – there won’t be any fireworks or hot dogs, and everything I’ll be talking about will be old news to her!

Another great-grandchild for Flo: Addie Rose.

We’ll cap off our week of firsts on Friday when Whitney will attend her first birthday party for Flo, who will be 96 years old on April 20. We’ll ride a commuter train to Elmhurst and meet Flo and other family members to celebrate at the wine bar across from the train station. No need to bring presents; Flo says she already got the gift she wanted. Her 20th great-grandchild, a healthy little girl named Addie Rose, was born on Friday. We’ve got a lot to celebrate, and It’s going to be one joyful celebration. Cheers!

A ray of hope

April 12, 20129 CommentsPosted in blindness, Uncategorized, writing

You might remember my friend Lauren Bishop-Weidner from a post I wrote two years ago. That post linked to a thoughtful and honest essay Lauren wrote for Two Hawks Quarterly about what it’s like to be able to see and love and live with someone who can’t. That piece was called On His Blindness; the “his” refers to Lauren’s husband Tom, who is Professor of Athletic Training and chair of the School of Physical Education, Sport, and Exercise Science at Ball State University. Whitney and I had the privilege of sharing the stage virtually with Dr. Weidner and Carlos Taylor, Adaptive Computer Technology Specialist at Ball State, along with their guide dogs Cate and Dutch, for a very special program in Muncie last Monday. Lauren agreed to write a guest post about that visit.

Motivate our Minds

by Lauren Bishop-weidner

Muncie, Ind., known primarily for canning jars and David Letterman, is also home to Motivate Our Minds (MOM), an after-school educational enrichment program that serves up a regular smorgasbord of learning opportunities for about 300 smart, curious, active kids in grades 1-8.

Tom and Carlos with Mary Dollison, the petite dynamo who started it all.

Thanks to the innovative spirits and creative minds of teachers and volunteers who love learning and kids, MOM is fun. Really fun. The kids get a healthy snack and individual help with homework. They go places, do things. They till, plant, tend, and harvest a garden, then sell the produce at a local farmer’s market. They grow to embrace learning, even if it means enduring school.

I got involved with MOM when I gave my freshman composition class an assignment to spend at least 8 hours volunteering locally in some capacity, then write about the experience. It was sort of a rough introduction to the idea of primary research, field work, that sort of thing. I asked MOM founder Mary Dollison to guest lecture in my class as a pathway to my students’ assignment, and the rest is history: I volunteer to tutor at MOM from time to time, and I look forward to reading to the 2nd and 3rd graders every Wednesday.

Motivate Our Minds has a long and proud history in Muncie. The brainchild of Mary Dollison and Raushanah Shabazz, the program began in 1987 as a summer reading program in the Dollison living room. The two women, both with full time jobs and families, were concerned about the children in Muncie’s low-income neighborhoods. The kids didn’t read, and too many didn’t finish high school. Armed with enthusiasm and determination to share their love of learning, they rounded up 16 neighborhood kids, including their own, and their home-based summer program outgrew its space within weeks.

Through tireless grant-writing, fundraising, and grassroots activism, MOM found a permanent home by 1993. Now serving nearly 300 students, MOM is a model of community advocacy, well known throughout east central Indiana for its effectiveness.

Tom's Braille watch -- with a pop-up top -- was a big hit.

The kids in the program learn to value learning, and they learn to value themselves. The results are life-changing. And hey, who knows how many of their lives might be changed after the special day they had last Monday?! Beth graciously agreed to participate with my husband Tom Weidner and our friend Carlos Taylor in a special program for the kids of Motivate Our Minds. We had Beth and Whitney via Skype; Tom and Carlos with their dogs (Cate and Dutch); 32 kids; and several gawking adults.

Carlos read a Braille version of Safe & Sound to the kids, and they marveled when Tom showed them how he pops open the lid on his watch to find

Carlos had the kids' full attention.

out what time it is: he feels the hour and minute hands. “Cool!”

Beth could only be there via Skype, but I was impressed with how well she managed to connect through the impersonal computer not even video —  just her happy voice through speakers. While the other kids took turns petting Kate and Dutch (their harnesses had been taken off, of course) one inquisitive boy walked up to the blank computer screen to ask Beth a question. “Where you at?” he wondered. For all we hear about how kids have to be entertained by saturating all their senses and keeping them in constant motion, these three professionals and their dogs connected with a lively roomful of active young minds in a low-tech (sort of) way.

The three of them gave a face to “disability” that these particular children, most of them from low-income homes and many from deep poverty, don’t get to see very often. A disability to them usually means perpetuating the poverty. Tom and Cate, Carlos and Dutch, and Beth and Whitney shined a ray of hope, infused with humor and fun. Watching the six of them interact with 32 excited children is an experience that I cherish.