Today’s guest blogger Vera Dowell with sons Kevin and Scott on the beach in Kailua.

I am pleased to introduce Vera Dowell as our Saturdays with Seniors guest blogger today. America celebrated Veteran’s Day Wednesday, and the piece Vera read in class this week reminded us that military families deserve our thanks on Veterans Day, too. The prompt I’d assigned was “Exactly What I’d Hoped For,” and Vera’s essay was just that!

by Vera Dowell

When Duane opened his letter from the US Air Force and shouted, “We got Hawaii!” I squealed, we hugged, and (Duane claims) that brought on Kevin’s birth two days later.

In the spring of 1965, Duane had traveled to Washington, D.C. to request an overseas posting for his Air Force assignment as a pediatrician. He was told there were no possible openings for him overseas, but there was a place in Hawaii. “I won’t place a doctor there unless he requests it, though.” Duane wisely calculated that three years in Hawaii beat two years in Rantoul, Illinois. He quickly volunteered for the Hawaii assignment. “I can’t promise you anything,” the officer added.

I crossed my fingers, and we got exactly what we’d hoped for.

The planning began: farewell visits to our families, packing one group of belongings for delivery by ship, another that would travel with us, and a third for storage on the mainland. Our car needed to get from Illinois to San Francisco to be shipped to Honolulu. We agreed that Duane would drive it there by himself and I would fly there with the boys. An early morning flight seemed best for a three-month-old and a 21-month-old. Turns out businessmen liked early morning flights, too. Oh my god. What a startling preview to the year ahead of me, handling two small boys alone in an environment completely new to me.

We were lodged temporarily in a Waikiki motel filled with other military families. That was fun! Duane spent the day at work while I watched the children play and visited with wives to learn the ins and outs of military life. In the evening, the four of us walked over to the beach, picked up supper, and reveled in the perfect weather.

Our belongings had not yet arrived the day we moved into our Hawaii home: a rental in suburban Kailua, complete with a fenced-in back yard filled with tropical trees and flowers. Children’s toys, my books, dishes and kitchen supplies were among the missing, but we were assured they’d arrive soon. The next morning Duane drove off to Hickam Air Force Base, leaving me with two little boys. The beach wasn’t close enough to walk to. I knew no one. I began to feel sorry for myself. Here I was, in the most beautiful place in the country, with two healthy children. What was the matter with me?

We started frequenting a pleasant little park across the street when…KA-Boom!! The boys got the chicken pox. First Scott, then Kevin. That ruined a month. Our household goods still hadn’t arrived. I was going stir crazy.

This was not exactly what I had hoped for.

The boys recovered, and one morning at the park I met Carol, a League of Women Voters activist with three young children. A friend, a soul-mate and a lifesaver!

We bought a second car, our household goods arrived just before Christmas, and Hawaii evolved into exactly what we’d hoped for.

Trainers at the Seeing Eye school encourage us to talk to our dogs as they guide us. “Remind them you’re there,” they say. “It keeps them focused.” Since the pandemic hit, I’ve been taking one, and sometimes two, hour long walks with Luna every day. What happens when I run out of things to talk to her about? I sing to her instead. This blog idea came up on one of those sing-along walks. I narrowed the titles down to songs I listened to as a child and in my young adulthood, and my focus here is on the title of the song, not the lyrics. Here goes:

1. Every Breath You Take (The Police) Before 2020, I took breathing for granted. Not anymore.
2. Fever (written by Otis Blackwell and Eddie Cooley, performed by everyone from Peggy Lee to Beyoncé) High fevers are a common symptom of COVID, and when Mike took sick on March 17, his fever spiked at 103 ° and stayed there.
3. I Can’t Get Next to you (The Temptations) Mike and I separated into what he referred to as our “two kingdoms” at home for a week before he collapsed from fever and was taken to the ER.
4. Gimme Shelter (Rolling Stones) Sheltering in place became the norm.
5. We’re All Alone (Boz Scaggs) With Mike in the hospital, new Seeing Eye dog Luna and I were at home alone for ten days.
6. Puppy Love (Donny Osmond) See above.
7. And I Miss You (Everything but the Girl) I missed Mike.
8. Telephone Line (Electric Light Orchestra) I worked on my skills with VoiceOver (the speech synthesizer that comes with every iPhone) to text and answer the phone when Mike called, or when caring doctors, social workers, friends and family contacted me to see how Mike was doing.
9. Don’t Stand So Close to me (The Police) Determining just how far away six feet is without being able to see is not easy. I give it my best guess when out alone with Luna.
10. Signed, Sealed Delivered (Stevie Wonder) Mike still in the hospital. Friends and family members signed me up for gift cards at small local establishments, restaurants sealed hot meals into to-go bags, nearby friends picked them up and delivered them to our lobby. You know who you are, my friends: thank you.
11. Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is? (Chicago) Is it just me? I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is, too.
12. Only a Fool Would Say that (Steely Dan) January 24: “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China and we have it under control. It’s going to be just fine.” March 6: “The tests are beautiful. Anybody that needs a test, gets a test.” May 21: “So when we have a lot of cases, I don’t look at that as a bad thing. I look at that as, in a certain respect, as being a good thing because it means our testing is much better. So I view it as a badge of honour. Really, it’s a badge of honor.”
13. Makes Me Wanna Holler (Marvin Gaye) Chicago Tribune columnist Heidi Stevens quoted Mike in a column when he was still hospitalized and I was waiting to be approved for a COVID test. He told her it was frustrating to watch the news from his hospital bed and hear President Donald Trump deny that the United States lacks sufficient tests. “Setting aside partisanship,” Mike said, “That’s really insulting. It’s insulting to be lying here and hearing that. It’s insulting to me, but also to all the people working here so hard and having to figure out who to give tests to and who not to, because they don’t have enough of them.”
14. Here We Are (James Taylor) Mike gets released from hospital, spends three nights at a COVID Hotel, and finally comes home COVID-free.
15. Dizzy (Tommy Roe) COVID-free doesn’t necessarily mean symptom-free. A “longhauler” now, Mike still gets dizzy while taking walks.
16. We’re Gonna Zoom, Zoom Zoom The theme song from a 1970s PBS children’s show becomes my theme song for the memoir-writing classes I lead.
17. Long Ago and Far Away (Joni Mitchell) Running into old friends out and about, giving them hugs, traveling to visit out-of-town family and friends, having people in for dinner, visiting elementary schools to give presentations…Seems like decades ago now.
18. So Far Away (Carole King) See above.
19. Happy Together (The Turtles) Neighbors start bringing chairs down to local park, and on hot days little kids bring sprinklers, too. While wearing masks and social distancing we catch up with each other. Temperatures are falling now, but hey, we all own warm winter coats! We pledge to continue meeting outside this winter.

Have a song title to add to the list? Leave your suggestions in the comments!

When I was a child, my mom watched Jeopardy! whenever she could. I can’t remember how often or when it aired; I just know I knew Art Fleming’s and Don Pardo’s voices very well.

At first watching was largely aspirational—it seemed like a grownup thing to do. Eventually, it was competitive: every once in a while I’d be right where my mom was not.

Back in the 90s, I actually passed the Jeopardy! test and made it into the pool of potential contestants. Alas, I never got the call. At the time, I had to travel to take a written test in person. Those who made the cut did trial runs. Today, the test is online. I’ve taken it a couple times, but I’ve not made the cut. Either I’ve gotten dumber or it’s gotten harder—I think it’s both.

During Covid work-at-home days I’ve been able to regularly peek in on the show as a break. I’m glad, too. I came to fully appreciate the staff that writes the answers, and the incredible performance of Alex Trebek. Impeccable pronunciation always. Unflappable. That he’s been doing the past couple years while being treated for cancer is almost unbelievable. But I’ve seen  it with my own eyes.

He’s going to be impossible to replace.

As is Sean Connery, the best Bond ever. Sad as their passing is, it’s funny that they left about the same time: one of the funniest recurring Saturday Night Live skits featured a fictional celebrity round of Jeopardy! that had Darrell Hammond playing a surly, foul-mouthed Connery and Will Ferrell playing Trebek. (Trebek apparently loved the SNL skits but believes that Eugene Levy did the best impersonation of him.)

RIP to Trebek and Connery, and here, have a laugh.

When today’s guest blogger Bindy retired, the local public TV channel, WTTW, did a feature on her and her store, Eureka. Click on the image to see it.

I am pleased to feature Bindy Bitterman as our Saturdays with Seniors guest blogger today. Bindy owned and managed Eureka, an amazing and eclectic little shop in Evanston, Illinois until 2015, when she retired at age 84. She moved to The Admiral at the Lake after that, and is a writer in the memoir class I lead there via Zoom. This Wednesday, November 11, is Veteran’s Day, so I thought it the perfect time to publish this story Bindy wrote about befriending a few veterans during World War II.

So Long to A Beautiful Friendship with an Unlikely Beginning

by Bindy Bitterman

I wish I could find the Chicago Tribune photo: 5 8th graders in 1944. We’d had a rummage sale, and raised enough money to donate a radio/phonograph to the Jewish USO downtown AND sponsor a breakfast there. What a day that was! Marty, Mel, and Al were there, three sailors from New York who’d been assigned teaching duties at Navy Pier. I never saw Al after that day, but Marty and I would become wartime pen pals as he moved on to other tasks at other destinations. And Mel! Gorgeous, wonderful Mel — our connection lasted until he died this year.

From its beginnings on that Sunday in 1944, our friendship expanded to include parents, spouses, and kids, mine and his. It reached from the suburbs of New York, where my husband Richard and I visited them, to our home in Chicago’s Rogers Park, where they visited us. It still continues with his wife, Helen, and his musician son.

I said gorgeous and I meant it. Mel was gorgeous into his 90s, and maybe he still was when he died. But that’s a minor part of his wonderfulness: he was dear. He was deep. He was kind. He was a great father and a great friend. He took life seriously but laughed throughout it. He and Helen loved kids, and when they came to visit ours, they brought their guitar and their kid-friendly songs and jokes and riddles and tongue-twisters (not all of them music to MY ears; some I thought a bit too vulgar). Of course, my kids loved every one of them. And they adored Mel and Helen.

That first day we met, I had taken the three sailors home with me to meet my parents. My mother, all charm and graciousness, immediately won their hearts. A bond developed. Shortly thereafter, when Mel married Helen and brought her to Chicago, the couple started visiting frequently. During a phone conversation Just a month or so ago, Helen reminisced about my parents and their lovely Chicago apartment.

Yes, we’re still in touch. I drop her a line or two on my prettiest note cards every few weeks now.

Because I didn’t for a while.

When my husband Richard died, Mel and Helen were still healthy. But they moved into an assisted living facility in their Long Island area, and shortly thereafter, Mel began showing gradual signs of dementia. I couldn’t bear to think of either of them, but especially Mel, in that condition, but I kept calling every few months as I had done through the years. After a while, though, it became too painful. No calls, no notes.

Their son phoned a few months ago. Mel was gone. A piece of my heart went, too.

But Helen and I are back in touch. She and Mel were married 77 years, I think. She’s well into her 90s, too, but seems pretty chipper.

Didn’t someone in our group say something about putting your sad thoughts in a basket? I need a trunk!

I work for PHIUS (rhymes with Prius), the acronym for Passive House Institute US. PHIUS is a nonprofit that works to reduce energy consumption and carbon emissions from buildings. By applying some straightforward principles like airtightness, excellent windows and doors, active ventilation and heat recovery, and lots of insulation. Projects built to our energy standard use 40 – 60 percent less energy than conventional buildings. Project teams seeking to hit net zero targets are seeking PHIUS certification because they reduce the amount of renewable energy needed to hit the target. (We recently certified an apartment building that produces more energy than it consumes and the excess is used to charge electric cars.)  These buildings are supremely comfortable and quiet, and they have superb indoor air quality. They’re especially good at mitigating covid risks, and they’re good where smoke from wildfires is an issue.

PHIUS trains architects and builders, we evaluate and certify building projects (think LEED only better), we set certification standards, and we conduct research.

Passive house is a misnomer of sorts–the method and certification can be used in any building typology, including apartments.

For the past 14 years, PHIUS has convened the PHIUS Annual North American Passive House Conference in cities across the country, bringing together hundreds of engineers, architects, educators, policymakers, and energy consultants to talk about their projects, share lessons learned, discuss policy and code experience and to just celebrate.

We couldn’t do it this year for obvious reasons. We did hold a series of online panel discussions last week organized around profession. That is, Monday was builders, Tuesday was educators, Wednesday was architects and Thursday was developers. We had the usual technical glitches and Zoomie stuff, and while it didn’t substitute for the in-person event, it was a success.

A handful of universities have integrated our designer training into their architecture curriculum—and the educators panel brought faculty from those institutions together. A highlight of their panel—and of all the sessions IMHO—was a video featuring students who’ve taken that class and earned PHIUS CPHC certification. They can now design passive buildings! Judging from the ones I’ve met, and those in the video, our future is in good hands.

I’m biased, of course, but it’s the most inspiring and most optimistic thing I’ve seen for a long while. Give it a watch when you get a chance.