If they can have fun wearing their masks, can’t we all?

We Americans are largely failing at our jobs as citizens. We, myself included, are prone to taking personal insult to things that are not personal, and we argue about stuff in ways that make no sense at all. It’s cultish. “If Hillary Clinton was for it, it has to be bad.” “If Donald Trump is for it, it has to be bad.” OK, bad example, because the second is true:)

You get my point. My friend Greg puts it this way: “We never talk about the plumbing.”

Which is to say, we don’t have substantive and comparatively boring conversations with our friends and family at the dinner table or barstool about what works and what doesn’t work. We argue about third parties and which of them is worse. We can still have our leanings and orientations, but sometimes, a cigar is a cigar, and a P-trap is a P-trap—doing a good plumbing job doesn’t have to be linked to some broader ideology.

We also confuse privileges with rights. We forget that with rights come responsibilities. Freedom is not an absence of responsibility or obligation.

As a society, Americans simply are not pulling our weight right now.

We are flunking the very simplest of tests: Wearing masks when we can’t be more than 6 feet away from people. Or when we are doing something that means we can’t count on being 6 feet away. It really isn’t that hard. This has nothing to do with rights. The word “mask” doesn’t appear in the constitution.

Masks work. If we all, across the country, were religious about masks for a month, we would crush the virus. But we’re too spoiled.

Wearing a mask, simply put, is what we should do for ourselves and one another. It is a moral imperative. It is a character issue. If you don’t wear one, you have low character. OK? Yep, I’m judging.

Fortunately, there are lots of Americans who rate high on character. We need to stay the course, and push our fellow citizens to get on the mask train. I wonder if Cat Stevens could rework Peace train…. Maybe not.

With all that, I give you an example of young Americans with golden character. Check out this video (hint, the audio alone is worth it),  and here’s to the future.

Today’s guest blogger, Dick Coffee.

I am pleased to introduce Dick Coffee as our featured “Saturdays with Seniors” blogger today. Born in Gary, Indiana, Dick attended a regional campus of Purdue University while working as a foreman in a steel mill. A lay-off in 1975 enabled him to finish his undergraduate work and end up in Law School at Valparaiso University, where he graduated first in his class. “At age 31, I was 10 years older than my fellow students,” he says. “That helped me, I think.”

J.D. in hand, Dick returned to the steel mill and finished his career there as the Vice President of Human Resources. Here’s the essay he wrote when I assigned “The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship” as a writing prompt. Enjoy!

by Dick Coffee

My name is Dick. It’s a pejorative to many. I don’t know. Maybe I even use it that way myself at times. While my oldest son is also named Richard, I imagine he is content to go by Rick. That way he does not have to contend with the snickers and sideway glances of people he introduces himself to.

A television show on Bravo called Inside the Actors Studio used to interview performers and creators of theatre and film in front of a live audience of students from the Actor’s Studio Drama School in New York City. At the end of each interview, the actor was asked to name his favorite swear word. I always thought that to be an odd question. But, I suppose it was designed to humanize some star, make it easier for the students to connect with them?

Anyhow, I was traumatized when Kevin Costner said his favorite was “dick.”

But, Dick is my name. It’s what my mother wanted to call me, on purpose, because she had a dear friend named Dick. And even now, my 99-year-old mother is pretty naive. She would be chagrined to find out that the word dick is anything other than a name that belongs in the lexicon of friends alongside Tom and Harry. Her father, an old sailor, used damn and hell quite naturally, but she did not like her sons to talk that way — she’d wash out our mouths with soap or make us take a teaspoon of cayenne pepper to make that point.

I am also a recovering alcoholic. So, I am used to introducing myself this way. And, it’s how I first introduced myself to a group of similar folks. “Hi, my name is Dick, and I’m an alcoholic.”

A beautiful friendship began at one of those meetings. I’d been meeting for a year or two with a small group that convened in an artist’s studio in a small town in Southwest Michigan. The studio owner generously welcomed us to use the sort-of-garage area of his home for our meetings. His paintings were there on the wall and also hanging from the beams, which had a calming effect on us. On nice days we’d open the overhead garage-type doors to hear the birds singing and let the sun and breezes in. Of course there were distractions, too, if someone down the street began to mow their lawn.

I had been attending this meeting for a year or two and knew most of the regulars. One day a woman walked in and greeted our host, the gallery owner. Like him, she was dressed in painters’ clothes. Two things were clear to me. They shared something kindred: They were both artists. And she was suffering from something, as she was crying.

Nothing at all transpired that day to make me know that a beautiful friendship would arise between us. I imagine she heard my name without making any sort of connection. She had much bigger things to think about that day than me or my name. Likewise, I doubt that I remembered her name after that one meeting. I meet new people at meetings all the time, and one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I seldom remember a person’s name until I’ve met them at least a half a dozen times. I gather that says something about my selfishness? I’m more focused on me than on them.

Still, it’s obvious that something happened that day. I like now to think of it as a God moment. For years after that I knew her only to say hello. And then she asked me to look at a letter she had received — she knew I was a so-called lawyer and thought I might have some help to offer.

That one small gesture led to our getting to know each other better. She came to trust me and I came to trust and admire her. Our relationship has grown into the closest friendship I have ever had, and you know what? Throughout our beautiful friendship, she has made no pejorative conclusions about Dick.

The reopening of businesses and other public places in Chicago comes with new rules about temperature testing and occupancy guidelines. Old rules about social distancing and masks still apply, and after months wearing a mask outside the apartment, it’s little bother and an easy way to keep Illinois numbers down.

The Seeing Eye sent an email out to graduates reminding us that with all these regulatory changes, one thing that stays the same is this: The law still gives us the right to have equal access to public places, transportation, and air travel. And the Seeing Eye dogs who guide us? They have equal access, too.

New Seeing Eye dog Luna has been guiding me to more places since Illinois entered Phase Three of re-opening, and with more pedestrians out and about, I’ve come across more people who are dead sure that dogs can spread COVID-19. “Beautiful dog!” one stranger called out as we passed her the other day. I thanked her for saying so, and when Luna stopped at the next intersection, I discovered this woman had followed us. “Can I ask you something?” she said. I nodded a yes while keeping my focus on the traffic, determining a safe time to give Luna the “forward” command. “Do you have a mask for your dog?”

Where to start? With a laugh, I guess. “Dogs aren’t contagious,” I said, still focusing ahead. “They can’t spread the virus.”

”Maybe not,” the woman said. “But dogs can get COVID, your dog could die.” Just then I heard the traffic surge at my parallel. We had the green light. “Luna, forward!” I commanded, and the woman called after us as we crossed. “You don’t want your dog to get sick, do you?” she scolded. “Get that dog a mask.”

I wonder now. Was that woman wearing one? From the CDC about COVID-19 and animals:

The virus that causes COVID-19 spreads mainly from person to person through respiratory droplets from coughing, sneezing, and talking. Recent studies show that people who are infected but do not have symptoms likely also play a role in the spread of COVID-19. At this time, there is no evidence that animals play a significant role in spreading the virus that causes COVID-19.

Studies do show that the virus can survive for a period of time on surfaces, including a dog’s fur. but there is no evidence that dogs can transmit the virus to humans. The message the Seeing Eye sent out to us pointed out that fear of COVID-19 transmission from dogs could leave store owners and workers at other public places with an excuse to try and deny us access. Advocate for yourselves, the note said, reminding us that fear is not an excuse for denying access to a qualified service animal under the laws that protect us.

One silver lining about people walking around misinformed about dogs spreading COVID? Those people get wayyyyyyy out of our way, and people aren’t supposed to distract —  or pet — a working Seeing Eye dog anyway!

The windows were broken, Floradora was not.

Back on June 1, I blogged about a week that included great kindness I experienced, as well as  the mayhem of looting our neighborhood endured during the post-demonstration riots on the night of May 30th and morning of May 31st.

I’m happy to say that we have all endured, and although some windows remain boarded up, most of the businesses behind the boards are open.

Floradora, the little boutique where Beth does her shopping, and which I wrote about in June 1 blog, is not one of them. But according to its owner, there are plans to reopen.

We learned more about that awful night in an email Michael Blossom, the owner, sent to the shop’s customer email list. Some parts are heartbreaking:

I received an alert that our alarm was triggered at midnight, and given what was on the news, I knew what was happening. So I headed to the Monadnock Building, navigating around all the raised bridges, and ended up staying all night as it continued. The security guard convinced me not to enter the shops while looters were actually in there, but during quiet times I was able to rescue some of our computer equipment that had important data. But looters kept coming back all night, even into the early daylight hours. Most, it seemed, came for the free stuff, while others came just to damage things. Police were called but never came, and boardup services were all too busy, so we couldn’t do anything to stop it. The feeling of helplessly sitting there for hours as it was happening is one I’ll never forget.

(Note: During the looting, the drawbridges over the Chicago River were raised to prevent access to the downtown.)

Other parts of the email—like this closing to the message–were heartbreakingly beautiful:

So…where do we go from here? Florodora was getting ready to reopen its doors and launch its online store all at once, but now we can do neither. If Nationwide Insurance comes through, we’ll be back for sure, though I can’t say when. But what is Florodora anyway? It’s not the merchandise. I’ve always seen it as more of a community-based collaboration, between me, our staff, and our customers. Nothing about that can be looted, so we are all still here, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of it.

Sent with love and hopes for peace,
Michael

If that doesn’t get you teared up, well, read this follow-up message. It thanks customers for their kindness, and their offers to set up GoFundMe pages for cleanup and reopening. Michael very appreciatively turns down those offers, explaining that he hoped that insurance would cover everything. And then, this invitation:

… for those who are willing, I’d like to redirect some of the goodwill and desire for healing toward a neighborhood where there is more need. Please join me, some of our crew past and present, and some of your fellow Florodora customers this Saturday, June 13th, 10am-1pm (meet 9:30), in Englewood for a “Florodora day” of volunteer service. We’ll be joining a neighborhood cleanup day organized by the Greater Englewood Chamber of Commerce. I am told that Aramark will be generously providing lunch for the volunteers afterward, and I am hopeful that NBC 5 will cover this in their ongoing profile of our recovery.

Englewood, for those of you who don’t live in the Chicago area, is the poster neighborhood for underserved and blighted poor Black neighborhoods. But the good people at the Chamber of Commerce give hope that it can come back, and Michael’s call to action demonstrated that maybe we can help.

And, Michael’s enormous kindness and grace provided a lot of his friends—including me—with inspiration and hope at a time when we needed it.

PS: I really hope you read Michael’s full message.

Today’s blogger, Sharon Kramer.

I am pleased to feature Sharon Kramer as a guest blogger for “Saturdays with Seniors” today. Sharon is a graduate of the online Beth Finke Memoir Teacher MasterClass, and after I was put on furlough, she generously volunteered to start (and lead) the Wednesday “Me, Myself and I” memoir-writing class for her fellow writers on Zoom. One writer  suggested they all write 500 words on what they would have done if they’d had a week’s notice before the Illinois stay-at-home order was announced, and Sharon joined her students to write this thoughtful — and fun — piece of her own on that prompt.

Regrets, I Have a Few

by Sharon Kramer

What would I have done if I had a weeks’ notice before the Illinois Covid-19 Stay at Home order on March 21st?

If I didn’t know exactly what was coming, probably nothing. I would have continued my love affair with buying and returning shoes from Zappos, my habit of putting off what was too difficult for me to face, and my casual acceptance of a life of choices.

But if I knew I had a week before the loss of almost everything I found familiar? I would have been busy every day with gratitude and appreciation.

I would have bought lots of hand sanitizers and masks and left them at my neighbors’ doors.

I would have gone out to dinner every night with my family. Japanese one night. Italian the next. And, Turkish the next. No chicken with broccoli or tuna fish on toast for me. Not that those are bad meals — just tiring.

My love of riding buses would have taken me downtown, Lake Michigan on my left, the Gold Coast on my right, down Michigan Avenue, dreaming of the thousands of tulips that would soon appear.

Walking on the lake front every morning with my dog, I would wave and smile at the bikers and runners. Since the closing of the lakefront trails, I haven’t seen Lake Michigan in months and now I avoid runners by crossing the street.

Every homeless person I saw would receive a twenty-dollar bill. Now I turn my back on the homeless. rushing away, feeling sad about my fear of unknown people.

I would have flown to New York City to visit my friend Sara who is having a difficult time in the epicenter of this disease. I would have taught her a few Zoom and iPhone skills, which she refuses to learn and complains about not knowing. I would have encouraged her to visit her friends upstate and, perhaps, stay there for a few months.

Since my sister depends on the public library for her reading, I would bring her 100 books — all mysteries and stories of dysfunctional families — her favorites.

At Trader Joe’s, I would do a jig in front of the frozen chicken and invite the whole store to join me. Now I dread walking down those narrow isles filled with enemies.

Before it was impossible to do so, I would have had my dog groomed. And, maybe a manicure and pedicure for me.

I would have put up a billboard to thank all the hospital staff for what was coming. Another billboard would thank all the deliverers of mail, food and packages and those keeping our grocery stores open and trash collected.

Finally, I would have invited everyone in Chicago with a birthday in March, April, May or June to join me in Millennium Park for Pizza and beer.

A version of Sharon’s essay appears on the In This Together page on the Chicago History Museum web site. In This together is the museum’s community-based initiative to collect digital records that capture personal experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic. If you live in Chicago or its surrounding metropolitan area, they invite you to share your story through content such as photographs, audio/visual recordings, personal essays and interviews.