I am pleased to introduce Veronica Cook as our Saturdays with Seniors guest blogger today. A former nun, Veronica worked at the Northern Trust Bank for years before retirement. Happily married and a longtime resident of Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood, she says one of her most valued achievements was leading a task force to successfully procure one-and-a-quarter million dollars for a Chicago Park District project to rehabilitate North Pond into the wildlife preserve it is today. Now she values her participation in the Good Memories choir and in memoir-writing classes. When I assigned “So Long” as the prompt for the final meeting of Veronica’s summer six-week memoir class, she came back with an essay that ends with a valuable life lesson for us all.

Only For So Long

The Good Memories choir, back when choirs could assemble.

by Veronica Cook

Throughout my life I’ve found deep joy in making music, especially with others. So it was a glorious windfall to be accepted to sing and harmonize in the Good Memories choir under a professional like Jonathan Miller.

No audition necessary, no questions asked about experience or ability either. Want to sing? OK, you’re in!

I’m already nostalgic for the Summer Rocks concert we did last year. I was in my glory, belting out my favorite part in the Jersey Boys Medley, where the low voices (I’m one of them) are begging Sherry, “Why don’t you come on….come on…..come on!” We were in peak form, singing in the Sheraton Grand Hotel’s main banquet hall to close a conference of organizers for a senior living option called the “Village Movement.” We knew we’d aced it when they rose in a standing ovation!

Lunch afterwards was down on Chicago’s Riverwalk under a red awning, with countless boats providing entertainment. The day was perfect. I just wanted to stay and soak up summer and the warm glow of the music my friends and I had been part of. I wanted it to go on and on, but it could only be so long, and then the day was over.

After our weekly practices, fellow singers Sheila, Regan and I would stroll over to Bloomingdale’s and head to the tiny “Forty Carrots,” their seemingly undiscovered eatery on the sixth floor. We always found a table, and Brian would be there smiling, serving the latest savory dish created by their remarkable kitchen. He never rushed us. We’d just hang out in a comfy booth, sometimes so long that my husband would call to see if everything was OK!

Now I wonder if Brian found another job, because surely this small café is gone for good. This lovely time together, this charming place was only ours for so long.

No matter what “opening up” takes place in our city and neighborhood, singing in the same physical space together will be the last thing to happen. When will it ever be OK to :

1. be inside, and
2. sit close to one another, and most basically…
3. sing out, projecting our breath freely into the air?

By then, for many of us, time will have passed us by.

How could I guess that this totality of the Good Memories experience was soon to be in the past: all those delightful songs, the partnering with memory challenged friends, the rich camaraderie. Only a few months have gone by since the shutdown, and yet when I remember Good Memories, the overwhelming happiness of being with everyone in that choir seems long gone. It brings tears to acknowledge the reality: I only had it for so long.

This awareness is important. I need to realize that it’s like all the gifts in my life, even this very day, this present time. I need to pay very close attention, to profoundly treasure what I can only have…for so long.

Whitney’s having a grand old time. And she deserves to.

You loyal Safe & Sound blog readers might remember that we delivered my retired Seeing Eye dog Whitney to her new retirement home in rural Pennsylvania this past December. Her new/old owner Elisse (Elisse and her family were the volunteers who raised Whitney as a puppy) keeps us up to date with Whitney’s adventures there. Here she is with the latest installment.

Whitney, Summer of 2020

by Elisse Pfeiffer

Whitney has been retired for nearly 7 months already and has adjusted both quickly and well. Some habits don’t die, though. She still follows me everywhere and wants to always make sure everyone is okay. She is a love, and I am grateful to have her back until the end of her time here — thank you, Beth (& Mike and Shelley, too!).

Whitney is exuberantly happy most of the time — she even smiles! She plays Frisbee every morning, although not always immediately and constantly as she would like. Chasing the Frisbee can leave her panting from running up and down these steep hills, and after some time, I let her just lay either on the deck or in the cool grass with her beloved Frisbee. She seems quite content there…until she decides it’s time to go again!

Whitney has a remarkable store of energy and keeps up with her exercise. Sometimes we go to a park and she plays catch with her Lacrosse ball on the tennis courts. I power-walk the perimeter of the park, and she runs along at her own pace. Often times, she rests while I continue, eventually catching up with me with her ball so we can get back to the chasing game. We both enjoy free playtime in a nearby park — it has a magnificent variety of mature trees, a playground and wide-open fields.

Now that summer is here, we’ve been exploring swimming holes. We found a new one this week, closer to the house! I stood knee-deep in the cool, refreshing water as she enjoyed 25 minutes going back and forth and back and forth.

The following day we walked another path and found a different swimming spot: one with a small waterfall with an eddy. Whitney would swim up to the whirlpool, turn around, let the current carry her downstream, then swim back up to the whirlpool, turn around, and let the current carry her downstream again. I sat on my choice of flat rocks and just enjoyed watching her. She’d always look to me to see if she could continue, or how far to go. She is very smart, and she still learns quickly. Not one other person was around that day, so nature sounds were all you heard. The smells were intoxicating, and on the walk, Whitney’s nose went into overdrive! Ah, the woods!

I feel like Whitney and I are like two ladies, growing older together. We both love to be active, but our bodies don’t quite recover like they used to. After all this playtime, rest is welcomed.

Sometimes, she will get up slowly, or will limp a little before the joints get going again. Stretching is a thing we both find necessary, and naps are okay, too, sometimes.

Admittedly, Whitney naps more than I do, but then, that is the life of a retired Seeing Eye dog. She is allowed to just rest…and be.

Wedding day, July 28, 1984. Photo: Rick Amodt.

Everyone I know is coping remarkably well with the universal craziness of life today (all things considered), but everyone has bad days, sad days. Lately I’ve noticed a healthy tendency for people to just be honest about those times. It’s an oppressive time, and while I maintain hopes for better times ahead, those hopes are tenuous. So, today, I’m choosing to look back for relief and inspiration.

Tomorrow, Beth and I celebrate our 36th anniversary. The morning of July 28, 1984 started in the backyard of our friend Colleen’s parents in Hillside, Illinois. Colleen’s father, the late Judge John Keleher, officiated and our parents attended. It was modest and small and kind of perfect.

We were officially married in Cook County, but another ceremony and party took place later, in DuPage County, in another back yard—Beth’s late sister Bobbie and her husband Harry generously hosted the affair. Hosted doesn’t do it justice. They’d more or less planned their splendid garden around the event, and managed the logistics of tents, pig roasters, etc. Lots of Beth’s enormous family stepped up to help–brother-in-law, Rick Amodt, volunteered to take pictures.

Our friend Pick, who grew up in Rural Virginia as a Southern Baptist, had agreed to officiate the second ceremony, using the vows that Beth and I had written together.

A polka with the original Mike Knezovich, Mike’s late father. Photo: Rick Amodt.

It could’ve been hot. It could’ve rained. But the afternoon was sunny and comfortable with a breeze. It was sublime.

Here’s an account from Beth’s memoir, “Long Time No See” :

Flo walked me down the aisle, and my friends Anne and Colleen served as bridesmaids. When it came time for a toast, the nieces and nephews served Champagne. We’d hired a group of Mike’s dad’s buddies from the steel mill, Roland Kwasny and the Continentals, who moonlighted playing weddings and other functions. They were everything we could’ve hoped for. Behind bandstands monogrammed “RK,” the ruffle-shirted, heavy set machinists and bricklayers played everything from Polkas to “Proud Mary.” And Roland and the boys were good enough to let Pick—a versatile showman, indeed—sing a few numbers while my sister Beverle sat in on drums.

We ate and drank and danced until well after sundown. We told each other it was the best day of our lives.

And it was the best day of our lives, at least to that date. We’ve been fortunate to have had even better days since. Of course, there were some pretty awful days. And times when we’ve barely held our marriage together by a thread.

Beth’s sister Bev drummed and our friend Pick crooned. Photo: Rick Amodt.

Marrying Beth remains the single best thing I’ve ever done for myself. And I’m elated that both of us are still ticking, together, after 36 years.

We’ve made it in no small part because of the support of our friends, family, and good–hearted strangers. Thanks.

Happy anniversary to us.

Today’s guest blogger, Bridget Hayman.

Disclaimer: Today’s Saturdays with Seniors guest blogger, Bridget Hayman, is not a senior. One of the Zoom memoir-writing classes I lead on Thursday afternoons is open to writers of all ages. Bridget is the Director of Communications at Access Living (a leading force in Chicago’s disability advocacy community) and is using her lunch and taking PTO time to attend class while working from home these days.

Tomorrow, July 26, 2020 is the 30^th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Bridget has cerebral palsy – she has been disabled her entire life, and the essay she came back with is a great example of how the ADA made many positive changes for people with disabilities but leaves room for improvement.

When I Became an Adult

by Bridget Hayman

Accepting an internship in Chicago was just my beautiful pipe dream…until my Grandpa turned it into a feasible reality. “I called all of the taxi companies,” he said with a glint in his eye, casually handing me a thick envelope of $10 bills. “That’s the exact amount of money you’ll need to take a cab to and from work everyday.”

I stared at him, openmouthed. I’d just turned 21 and had never seen so much money in one place, let alone in my hand.

And so, there on my grandparents porch in Denver, my plans for a summer in Chicago suddenly solidified. Grandpa then added one more tidbit. “I almost forgot,” he said with a sly smile. “I found out there are more affordable ways for you to get around the city, too. Either way, the cash is yours.”

A month later, I was sitting on the corner of Dearborn and North Avenue with my arm in the air and unwelcome tears stinging my eyes. I sat alone, exposed and invisible, watching the taillights of another taxi pass me by — the 8th one to do so that morning. Damn. I’d be late for my 9 a.m. for sure. I probably should have just stayed home in Denver.

When I’d first arrived in Chicago a week earlier, a cabbie named Frank picked me up and told me what was quickly becoming a familiar truth. “Most cabbies won’t stop for you, they won’t touch your wheelchair,” he warned, passing me a card through the partition with his cell phone number scrawled on the back. “Next time you need a ride, you call me directly.” I’d already called Frank that morning. He wasn’t available. Same with Abdul, Jamal and Samir.

So, I headed out to hail a cab. And still, there I sat.

Ahh, hell.

It was getting later and later. Maybe I could wheel to work? No… not with the missing curb cuts and broken sidewalks along LaSalle Street.

That’s when I spotted the bus stop on the opposite corner. Could I take the bus? I’d heard it was accessible, but I hadn’t found the courage to try it.

A woman standing by the sign smiled when I pulled in next to her. “Give up on getting a cab?” She asked.

I nodded.

She paused.

“Ummm … have you taken the bus before?”

Oh my God. Was it that obvious? “No,” I conceded. “Does this one go to the Loop?”

My new friend assured me it did. When the bus arrived, she watched me get on the lift — It folded out from the stairs! — and showed me how to pay for my ride. Only $1.25! “It’s her first time on the bus!” She announced to everyone.

Ugh.

The driver showed me how to hook in my wheelchair and looked pointedly at me in the rearview when we got to my stop. The office was a short block away, no streets to cross, no curb cuts necessary. I made it to my 9 a.m. right on time.

I was an adult, after all.

More players in the outfield than in the bleachers.

Last night, I watched the White Sox beat the Cubs in an exhibition game, part of the teams’ preparation for a truncated season. That season will be 60 games, if they’re lucky enough to finish; a normal season is 162 games.

There were no drunken brawls between the contentious fan bases in the stands, because there were no fans. Foul balls that reached the seats just bounced around.

The game was played at Wrigley Field, but the announcers we chose to watch sat in a booth at White Sox park and called the game from screens. Crowd noise was piped in through the PA system at Wrigley so the players and the viewers could hear it. Many players sat in stadium seats just behind the dugout to avoid crowding to keep them all spaced at safe distance. The organ played, but I don’t know if it was live or pre-recorded bursts.

On the one hand it was completely, utterly, weird. On the other hand, a great pitch looked like it always has, and so did a home run.

Though I still have mixed feelings about the endeavor—trying this hard for normalcy in abnormal times makes me dizzy—I’ll confess, I found it glorious.

Without most all the trappings associated with a typical MLB game and broadcast, I was delighted that the game remains the game. Jason Benetti and Steve Stone, the White Sox announcers, were so ecstatic about being back in the game that the weirdness took a back seat. (Benetti is practiced in remote baseball broadcasting—he’s been calling Korean games from home in the wee hours of the morning for a couple months now for ESPN.)

I don’t know how long it’ll last. They haven’t played a single real game yet. There has been no travel. The whole thing is fraught. And I hope no one suffers for the effort. I wouldn’t wish covid on my worst enemy (OK, there is one exception).

But for one night, baseball.

Also, did I mention? The White Sox beat the Cubs, 7-3.